Fools like me
by TwoStepsBehind
Summary: She's running from her past. He's in search of his future. They're as different as they can get and yet fate throws them together. What will they choose? SBOC, JPLE. Slightly AU
1. Chapter one

Fools like me

**Disclaimer: **Anything that you might recognize is not owned by me. Harry Potter and all the characters (except for Alex) are owned by J.K. Rowling. Charmed is owned by The WB network. The song is owned by Switchfoot.

**Chapter 1: **

_Everything inside me looks like everything I hate_

_You are the hope I have for change_

_You are the only chance I'll take._

-On Fire, Switchfoot.

You know, if asked to describe myself, I'd call myself normal. Maybe a little weird, okay fine, I'm a lot weird. I'm really sarcastic, bitter, cynical and angry and I have a twisted sense of humour. Anyway as I was saying… wait, you ask why I am like that. Well aren't we all?

Don't we all pretend that we're really strong and that we don't need anyone or anything to make us feel better about our self? Don't we all build metaphorical walls and hide behind them just so no one can hurt us? Don't we all just have very few friends, the less people you know and trust the better; that way you have less people likely to abandon you when they get tired of you. Don't we all not care about what people think about us cause, hey, who gives a damn about what the others think about me, I only care what the people I care about think about me. Don't we all pretend that we don't believe in the love crap and fairytales are for idiots?

Well, okay, so not ALL of us think like that, but I do. And trust me there are quite a few people out there who think like me; well least I used to think like that. Not that I've completely changed now, let's just say my views are a lot more moderate now, and I'm not that jaded anymore. Seven years at Hogwarts and the people around me changed that. You see to understand how things are different now, you have to understand how things were back then for me, and why they were the way they were y'know. And when I say Hogwarts changed me, I don't mean just the magic part helped. 'Cause you see, I've been surrounded by magic ever since I was born, but just the atmosphere, the people, that's what helped the most.

Magic; as a child I was always taught that magic was in the blood, that it was passed through generations, there could be times where it skipped a generation or two, but magic always stayed in the family. If someone didn't have magical ancestors, then they could never have magic in them. You see, my family was a very powerful family when it came to magic, now it's only my grandmother, her sister and me, but once upon a time (it's not a fairy tale, mind you) people traveled from all over to ask us for help, magical help. I was also taught that while magic made us different from others, it didn't make us better than them, it simply gave us an opportunity to help others, the ones who couldn't help themselves, the ones that needed help; I was taught that our powers weren't for ourselves, but for others, several times I learnt that personal gain is a no-no the hard way. There were many times I caught myself thinking if we saved the ones that couldn't save themselves cause we had that kind of power, then who would save us?

Anyway we witches went to normal schools and high schools and colleges and worked, we didn't have special magical occupations; magical lives as such. We didn't wear black robes or pointed hats and we certainly did not wave around wands and cackle while mixing something vile in a huge black pot that hung over a fire. And we most definitely did not have a black raven cawing in the background. As a child I hated the stereotypes that people associated witches with, we weren't some evil, ugly spinsters who didn't have anything better to do than wreck havoc in other people's lives.

You see, my grandmother and her sisters were really powerful witches, the Charmed Ones. Yeah I bet you've heard of them, so I'm not going to go into the details of their power and stuff. People believe that my grandmothers had happy endings, that after seven years of non stop fighting evil, it all calmed down and that they all settled down and had kids of their own, but that's not what really happened. To make a very long story short, my grand-aunt Paige died while saving one of her charges, Luke. After her death her husband moved to New Jersey to be closer to his family along with the twins and Henry Jr. I still see them occasionally on Christmas (if I'm not spending it at Hogwarts) or over the summer. They aren't much into magic though.

My other grand-aunt Phoebe's husband, Cooper too was killed in a surprise demon attack on the manor. Heart-broken, Grandma Phoebe never married again. They never had any kids.

My grandmother, Grams, their sister, Piper, well she had a roller coaster ride too. My uncle, Wyatt, was so sick of magic and the 'bad luck' that it had bought our family, ran away from home at a some-what young age, no one ever saw him again, and he warned Grams against keeping an eye on him through magic. My aunt, Melinda, lives in a gorgeous apartment in the city. She went to fashion school in New York and is a brilliant designer. I'm pretty close to her. She gets lots of designer clothes for free which she passes on to me. Hence my extensive and ridiculously beautiful wardrobe. She helps Grams and Aunt Phoebe keep the demons in line while I'm away.

My dad, Chris, fell in love with a beautiful woman and soon she got pregnant with me. They then got married and I was born. (Yes, it happened in that order) But fate had other plans for our little family too; after my dad died when I turned five, my mother couldn't bear to even look at my anymore. She said that I reminded her too much of him. So she left. Just like that. That's when I moved to San Francisco and I have lived with Grams and Grandma Phoebe in the manor ever since.

So, back to what I was originally saying, about magic, and the horrible stereotypes; I hated them and I hated Halloween where people paraded the streets dressed as evil witches and monstrous werewolves and blood-thirsty vampires. People didn't know the truth about werewolves or vampires or witches or anything magical so they distorted my world into something convenient for them.

Seeing how magic had not done anything remotely good for my family, I never had faith in it, much like my Uncle Wyatt. Still I never thought of running away, I loved whatever was left of my family too much for that. But I never used my magic much, and being a charmed descendant I had a lot of it. I have whitelighter powers; orbing and healing. I also have telekinesis (the whitelighter in me makes it work differently) and faint telepathy, my Aunt Prue's powers, and my Aunt Phoebe's power of empathy. I can do the normal chanting spells crap, but I was never the one for rhyming, so someone had to write the spells for me.

Every time I saw someone dressed as an 'evil witch' my blood would boil and all I wanted to do was rip that fucking wart off the person's nose and shove it up their… well where the sun doesn't shine, if you know what I mean. Not all witches were evil; it's not who we are but what we do that defines us, right? I mean people back in the seventeenth century just burned women on the stake because they were different, because they had the power to do good but people couldn't understand it so they feared it and tried to get rid of it. I'm not saying that all witches are good, no, there are bad witches and there is bad magic, just like there are two sides to everything. But if we don't try to understand the difference between the two and just randomly work towards eradicating it, then what's the difference between good and evil? If a bunch of people hundreds of years ago didn't bother understanding us, and if people don't bother understanding us now, then how can we say that we've progressed? That we are a civilization? What's civil about any of this? Progress isn't just about technology, it's also about the thinking and beliefs.

So from an early age I was were angry and bitter. I mean here I was a young part Wicca part white-lighter part human (my mother was/is human and my dad is a witch-lighter), living among humans, but not really one of them.

But it all got even more complicated the year I turned eleven; I got a letter that seemed to be written on really old and thick paper (or parchment as I now know it's called) with a really cool emblem that said Hogwarts and had a lion, a serpent, a badger and an eagle. Also there was a saying in Latin, Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandos. I remember laughing when I read that; never tickle a sleeping dragon. The letter itself seemed very weird then and I had looked to my grams for some kind of explanation, I remember her having this really serene, knowing expression on her face.

Later that day, this really weird looking man, with a really long silvery beard and even longer hair, in this plum coloured suit that smelled of mothballs came calling. Looking at him, I couldn't help but feel suspicious, but one look into his twinkling blue eyes, I relaxed. I could trust him. His name, it turns out, was Albus Dumbledore, and he explained to me about Hogwarts. It was real, the stupid black robes and pointed hats and boiling cauldrons and swishing wands was all fucking real. But these people were good witches too. So once again everything I believed in had just collapsed in front of my eyes. Magic had a way of doing that to you, and man, I hated magic.

One of the major reasons why I didn't want to go to Hogwarts was that I'd have to make new friends, something that I had never quite succeeded in. I had met Lily when I was a couple of months old and told her about me when we turned five. She had accepted it and slowly she started to learn the truth about my family. She had accepted it all, without any question and I will always be grateful to her for that. Making new friends would mean I would have to open up to them, trust them, more importantly tell them about me and hope to God they would accept me. I'm not hesitant to tell people about me just because of what I am, also because of who I am. You see, the Halliwells, they are sort of like magical royalty of sorts. Not that it make us a cent richer, only a lot more famous. I was hesitant to leave grams and Aunt Phoebe too. I wasn't much of an adjusting person.

On Gram's insistence, on my tenth birthday I had adopted my father's middle name as my second last name in order to avoid unwanted questions. So now I was Alexandria (my birth-mother didn't want a name starting with the traditional 'P') Jane (no trivia pertaining to this name) Halliwell (we all had to take on that name, Grandma Penny demanded that of us) Perry. I'll say that again, Alexandria Jane Halliwell Perry. If anyone asked I'd just say Alex Perry, though.

With a lot of coaxing, my family managed to convince me to give Hogwarts a try. But that would mean I wouldn't be able to go to the boarding school in England with my best friend, Lily. Yeah you see Lily Evans and I had been friends ever since I can remember. You remember me telling you about my dad's beautiful wife, well she was British and my dad had moved to England to be with her. She had gone to Hogwarts herself, which is why I had those abilities as well. After his death and my subsequent abandonment, I moved to San Francisco and I had to leave my best friend behind. Needless to say we kept in touch and always met during the holidays.

Really pissed off, I nearly refused to go to Hogwarts. It's one thing to not have a normal life, but to give up the people that accepted my not-so-normal one was another thing. I was already confused about my 'ethnicity' as such, about myself, my powers, and now giving up a person who had accepted me for who I was when I myself hadn't done that, it was too much. Without Lily, I felt lost. So Grams sat me down and told me what her mother had told her and Aunt Phoebe when they had questioned their life and destiny after Aunt Prue's death. I can still remember her words as if it had been just yesterday that she had said them to me, "I know it's a lot, sweetie. More than anybody should have to deal with, but you're going to have to deal with it the best way you know how. Leaving people behind, learning about your new abilities... this is your path. This is your destiny. Get angry at it, cry about it, but don't fight it. Or it'll consume you." Just like it did your Uncle Wyatt; she didn't say it out loud, but I know that's what she was thinking, just like I was thinking it too.

And so I called Lily and told her how I wasn't going to go to school with her and she said in an uncomfortable voice that she, too, was going to go to another school. Understanding that she didn't want to talk about it, and at that moment I didn't either, I had simply hung up. I didn't feel any anger towards Lily for not going to 'our' school or that she hadn't told me about it sooner, sometimes you keep the thing that you're dreading to most to do for the last moment, hoping that maybe you won't have to do it after all.

And so I went to London with Aunt Phoebe and Grams. On platform 10 3/4th, that took a little while to find, I remember this weird nervous feeling that settled at the bottom of my stomach. All those kids, people, trunks, the owls, the noise, the excitement, it had been so overwhelming. Looking at the magnificent and scarlet Hogwarts Express, I couldn't quell the excitement that took over me too. I had turned to grams Grandma Phoebe and Aunt Mel and very unlike me, enveloped them all into one huge smothering hug. "I'm going to miss you so much," I had fiercely whispered, "I love you all." They'd hugged me back and said that they loved me too. Then I turned and climbed onto the train and didn't look back once as the train pulled away from the station.

Hogwarts, here I come.

Unlike other people, I didn't have to drag along a heavy trunk, mine had been shrunk thanks to Gram's spell and I had the counter spell in my pocket, that I would have to chant before getting off the train so that it would be brought to the school later along with everyone else's.

Anyway, there I had been walking through the corridors, looking for an empty compartment, when I walked past a couple of guys, four of them actually, they were really noisy and loud, but they'd had that companionship amongst them that achingly reminded me of Lily and me. I know, you must be thinking, how can I know that by just bumping into them? Well you forget my empathy, and they were still behind me, laughing and talking away, hence I can deduce things with my great deductive skills.

Suddenly out of nowhere I'd heard a shriek, "Lexie?" And then bam! I was flat on the floor on my back, a throbbing skull where I'd bumped in on the ground, a lot of red clouding my vision and a very loud voice yelling in my ear, "Oh my god! Lexie, what in the world are you doing here!"

Even though I was being crushed to death (it's not that Lily is fat or something, it's just that I'm really tiny. Sometimes the best of us are beaten by something as stupid as genes. I inherited Grams silky hair, although her's is brown, my is midnight black. I inherited Aunt Phoebe's petite frame and her love for exercise and martial arts. But I also inherited our family's pitiful height when it comes to women. At age eleven, I was only four feet eight inches and I wanted to kill someone or something because of that. I looked like some child from a third world country no offence meant to anyone all short and skinny. I still managed to roll my eyes as I awkwardly patted her on her back, "Oxygen Lils or I might just die." Since I was so winded, it hadn't come out quite the way I planned it to and she took it as a grunt of approval, continuing to hug the life out of me. Then someone came to my rescue, or least tried to.

"Erm, you girls need some help?"

This time I successfully managed to shove Lily off me and stand up. Throwing a smile her way, I looked at the person who had asked if we needed any help. It was one of those boys, and I could tell he meant well even if I didn't have empathetic powers, his warm but tired amber eyes said it all. The boy was a little too tall for his age; a little too thin but not third-world-country-looking like I was; his face had premature lines and several scars. Biting back a retort, I forced myself to be nice, "Nah, its okay. Thanks anyway." I even smiled, hah Aunt Phoebe, I can be nice!

He grinned widely and thrust his hand forward, "American, eh. I'm Remus Lupin."

I shook his hand, "Yup, I'm Alex Perry."

"Lily Evans. British, Long live the Queen."

He had a nice laugh, a genuine one where he threw his head back and the sides of his eyes crinkled, it was a hearty laugh. "Nice to meet you too, but I must get back to my friends." With that he walked towards his friends, who had disappeared into a compartment.

Later that journey, Lily and I had found ourselves an empty compartment and talked. She'd explained how she'd got the letter, but didn't want to tell me anything yet since she knew of my hatred towards black robes and wands and such. She was scared that I'd hate her and never speak to her for going to a place that endorsed the things that I so hated. I had laughed and thrown my arms around her, only Lily could think something like that. I loved Lily like a sister. She was always so thoughtful of others feelings, so concerned about me and tried every possible way she knew to make me feel comfortable with myself and around others. As she talked animatedly about her trip to Diagon Alley, I tuned myself out; just looking at her, listening to her pleasant voice, man I felt so at ease around her. Lily was a very pretty girl; the kind you knew would grow up to become beautiful. She had long, dark red hair, silky and slightly wavy; vivid green eyes, not the murky green that most people have, but the real, emerald green ones; pale complexion dotted with freckles. She was taller than me, five-two already; the bitch. She was sure going to break hearts when she grew up, if not now.

Anyway, we continued talking and I told her about my trip to Diagon Alley and how it had nearly driven me insane, how Aunt Phoebe actually had to drag me into Madame Malkin's to get robes for school and how I'd been very rude to Ollivander when he's asked me to try out several wands.

Together we'd laughed as we tried out the all the sweets that the lady with the food trolley had; Lily was a little scared of the chocolate frogs at first, and I had loved the Bertie Bott's jelly beans till I had the vomit flavoured one, after that I was a little wary of them. Least to say that my first trip to Hogwarts was memorable, and I knew my years there would be too. I knew that there would be several other obstacles concerning my roots and magic, my thoughts and my feelings, but with my best friend right there next to me, I remember thinking, 'Bring it on.'


	2. Chapter two

Chapter 2:

**Disclaimer:** The song is owned by Lisa Loeb.

_Everybody go_

_That party's over_

_I want to be alone in my head, in my bed tonight _

_You never show_

I groaned and pulled the covers over my face and turned on my side.

_You must really love her_

_You think I don't know_

_But I do, yeah it's true_

_I think over, is over_

Obviously it didn't affect Mandy or her damn alarm that was playing the horrible, squeaky song at this ungodly hour. So I groaned again, loudly.

_I'm right back where I started_

_When it comes to wanting you _

_I can't have what I wanted_

"Will someone turn that fucking thing off, or you'll be buying a new alarm very soon." I growled.

"I could just magically put it back together, you know, Alex." Jesus, I hated that damn girl with her nasal voice, (Okay, so maybe I am the only one who thinks so. Well what else was I supposed to think, who sounds so goddamn cheery so early in the morning?) and her damn alarm and that fucking song.

"Well since you're awake Mandy, stop hitting the snooze button and turn that damn thing off, the rest of us are trying to sleep, y'know."

"No we're not, Alex. It's seven thirty. Unless you want to miss breakfast, I suggest you get that arse out of your bed and into the shower." Damn Lily and her stupid common sense.

Muttering venomously under my breath about damn Monday mornings and alarm clocks, I yanked the covers off me, grabbed my robe and viciously tying it around me, I shoved Mandy out of the way, ignored her squeak of protest (that girl is very squeaky, trust me) and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

Fifteen minutes later, I was out of the bathroom; my hair soaking wet, and my wet towel clinging to me. Still grumbling, I made my way to my trunk, pulled out my underwear and the school uniform consisting of a navy pleated skirt that skimmed the top of my knees and white shirt with a red and yellow striped tie. Still muttering, I went back into the bathroom to change. Back out, I toweled my hair dry, although it was still a little wet; I applied some kohl around my eyes, some orange flavoured lip-balm and shoved my feet into a very old pair of battered converses. A couple of minutes later, I realized that I was staring at myself in the mirror, I tend to do that a lot, randomly stare at something or the other.

I saw the same old me with a straight, relatively small nose and high cheek bones; straight slightly tousled black hair, that reached the top of my shoulder blades and my bangs long enough to cover my somewhat large forehead but short enough to fall into my eyes. My eyes are a really vibrant, electric blue. According to most people, my eyes are my most striking feature and sometimes, I can't help but agree; when I'm excited or angry or feeling anything remotely significant they shine with a brilliance, which is almost always; but most of the times I just see normal blue eyes. Thanks to my Asian heritage from my mother, I would tan beautifully in the summer. Lucky for me, in the past five years I grew ten whole inches, bringing my height to the grand figure of five feet and six inches. But let me tell you, it still sucks. Everyone around me is so god damn tall; Lily herself is five-ten. It's not fair, and I hate it. I also out grew my Ethiopian look, although I'm far from what normal people would call normal body weight, I look fed for once. If you saw me without my shirt (bra on, you perverts!) you won't be able to count my ribs although I have pronounced collar bones. You can't trace my pelvic bone with the naked eye, but my hip bone does jut out a little. My stomach isn't caved in (and it never was) but it's flat enough to iron something on it. And I like the fact that I'm thin bordering skinny. That doesn't mean I judge fat people or anything and I don't starve myself to remain the way I am, I've never liked extra fat. I just exercise. Running round the Great Lake five times every evening can keep you that way, trust me I know, even if you eat your body weight at every meal. So anyway, that's me, pretty normal, I guess. Shrugging, I put on my black robe and said, "Okay Lils, let's go, I'm done."

Lily was watching me from her bed with amusement. "I thought you were never going to stop admiring yourself for a minute there Alex."

I rolled my eyes, "I just got carried away there for a minute. Let's go, I'm starving."

Pointedly ignoring her "When aren't you?" we made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"I hate Mandy and her stupid voice and her stupid alarm and that fucking song. I mean, come on, whose alarm tune is 'fools like me'. Forget that, who listens to such a flowery, squeaky song anyway?" I ranted.

"Evidently Mandy does. It's not that bad a song. And come on, she's really not all that you make her to be. She just got dumped; a little sympathy wouldn't kill ya Alex."

"Yeah well she brought it upon herself. Dating Sirius Black, when everyone knows he's the humpanddump kinda guy. Why willingly cut the branch you are sitting on and then cry when it finally falls and you go down with it?"

"Well tell me one girl who doesn't think she can tame the 'Sirius Black'? Who doesn't think she can get him to fall in love with her; who can resist those smoldering eyes and that black hair, the gothic features and tall strong build?"

"Well I would have said both you and me, but now I think it's only me. Are you under his spell too?" I narrowed my eyes. "What happened to good old Jamsie Poo?" Lily, after almost three years of claiming that she hated James Potter with the every fiber of her being, suddenly accepted his suggestion of a picnic on Hogwarts grounds, shocking the hell out of everybody. James was just asking, like he did everyday, it was something that came naturally to him after almost three years of practice, never caring that her answer was always a firm no. He didn't think that this time was any different, and it had taken him a full minute before his face broke out into a genuine smile. Running his fingers through his hair, a habit that Lily claimed that she hated (my best friend claims many thing, most of them are nothing but lies) but secretly loved (I know things) he had told her he'd confirm the details later, since he was late for class. Finally I was free from the I-hate-James-Potter rants and my best friend was truly happy with a great guy, something that I'd always known James was, but Lily had to realize that on her own. I had always known he had cared for her; empathy and the looks that he gave her when she wasn't looking were proof enough.

Pushing open the doors to the hall, she said, "Oh come on, Lexie, just because I have a boyfriend it doesn't mean I can't admire natural beauty." She wiggled her eye brows at me, "He's hot and you have to admit it."

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you not the call me Lexie, especially not in the mornings. God Lily, I hate that name, makes me sound like a bunny or something."

Lily and I walked to our usual place at the Gryffindor table, more towards the Great Hall door than the teachers table, but not in the centre, she took a seat to my right.

"…"

Ignoring her pointed silence I served myself three strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, three sausages, buttered a toast and poured me some heaven sent coffee. I eat a lot, so sue me.

"Okay, fine, so he is hot. Big deal, he's still a jerk." With that I raised the blessed mug of coffee to drain it in one go.

"Who's a hot jerk, Alex?" Said the deep voice of James Potter as he took a seat next to Lily; giving his girlfriend of almost two months a side hug and a kiss on the fore head. Okay, seriously, I might be all cynical and bitchy but I couldn't help but grin when I saw those two. It was a sight for sore eyes. But that didn't mean I was going to answer him.

"None of your business, Potter."

It also didn't mean I had to be nice to him before I had eaten breakfast.

"Love you too, Lexie."

I opened my mouth to tell him off when a soft voice beat me to it, "Leave her alone James. It's too early in the morning for you two to argue." Bless him. I smiled at Remus, as he took a seat opposite me, "Morning, Rem."

Returning my smile and my greeting he started off on his own breakfast. We all ate silently; the clicking of the cutlery accentuating our silence, but it was anything but awkward. Ever since the first week, when Lily and James had become a couple, we had breakfasted together. The companionship that I had felt between those four boys on my first train ride was what we now shared, so how could things get awkward? So James and I argued and I was a bitch in the morning (and sometimes coughcough all day) I cared about James and Remus and Lily was a sister in all ways but one, blood.

Something brushed my left elbow, thinking it was my owl, Benjamin; I turned with the last bit of my toast as a treat. My smile slid of my face as fast as butter would melt on heated corn and I bit back a groan. Tilting my head up, it only confirmed my suspicions. _Black. _

Ignoring him, I went back to my breakfast, but his elbow kept brushing mine. He was right handed and I was left… couldn't he scoot over a little? Taking a deep, calming breath I put down my fork and knife as I was done with my breakfast and reached into my skirt pocket to pull out a small Ziploc bag of Bertie Bott's jelly beans. I'm a sugar junkie. Infact I'm more of a candy addict. And I loved Bertie's jellybeans. I would buy huge family size packs and sit and sift through to separate my favourite flavours from the ones I didn't like and the abnormal ones. Yup I knew the beans well enough to identify every flavour.

"Merlin, Alex. It's eight in the morning. How can you eat candy so early in the morning?" James asked in a part awed part exasperated voice.

I grinned as cherry flavour exploded in my mouth. "I love candy James." I said in a satisfied voice.

"I still can't believe you know can identify every flavour just by glance." Remus chuckled.

"She'd better. She lives on these things." Lily added.

I would have said something but that damn boy's elbow bumped into mine again, which made me drop a couple of green apple beans. Argh! I have nothing against Black personally, I really don't. I don't even know the guy. Remus I know, Remus I like. What's not to like. He's really nice, intelligent, caring and funny and everything else nice. He even tutors me. I get along with him and we're friends. Well sort of, he doesn't know who I am, that's what I mean. And as I said earlier, I care about James. Back to my original point, Sirius Black and why I dislike him. You see Black sleeps around a lot. Trust me when I say a lot. No relationship of his has lasted more than a month, and the only month long relationship was what he had with Mandy, who he dumped last week. No guy would sleep around as much as he does if he didn't have something to prove and what is that one can prove by sleeping with people, other than their overactive libido? Their or in this case; his masculinity. Why would he have to prove something to people who don't even care, cause he's unsure of it himself, that's why. Hence people who doubt themselves are insecure. And Black is insecure about his masculinity, making him a sissy. If it doesn't make sense to you, go to hell. That's what I told Lily too. It makes sense to me and that's all I care about. And why do I have a problem with him sitting around us, well 'cause his flavour of the week is always draped around his shoulder during meal-times and well the way they behave, it's not so good for the stomach, y'know. So I turned to face him and said, "You mind?" In this really polite voice that everyone knows is meant to be anything but polite.

"Not really." He retorted without even looking at me. Bastard.

"Well good then, scoot over. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy the fact that your elbow keeps bumping into mine every five seconds." I said nastily. "Jerk." I muttered under my breath, but I'm pretty sure he heard me.

He set down his knife and fork and dabbed his mouth with the napkin that was in his lap in this exaggerated motion and turned slowly to face me.

"Are you always such a bitch or is today my lucky day?" He asked in this casual voice as he cocked his head to one side and before I could say anything he continued, "Well I've had breakfast with you for the past couple of weeks so that answer's the first question. So, tell me, what kind of permanent PMS do you go through which makes you snap at everything that breathes all the time?"

"You goddamn bastard." I all but yelled. How dare he talk to me like that? All I wanted was for him to move his damned elbow, something he should have done without me having to tell him.

"Ahem."

Someone was clearing his throat. But I didn't look cause I was too busy having a who-will-blink-first contest with Black.

"Ahem." Someone cleared their throat in the background but I didn't look to see who it was.

Suddenly the thought that I was staring into Sirius Black's eyes hit me. I was staring into a pair of piercing, angry grey eyes. Jesus, I was staring at him and he right back. My thoughts started to stray, there's not much you can do when you're too busy trying not to blink. His eyes were gorgeous, a piercing grey. Whoever said that grey eyes are eyes that have no colour was a complete and utter fool. Here I was staring into eyes the colour of the stormy sea, dotted with flecks of black. They were hooded, hidden, yet so entrancing.

"Sirius, honey, last night was fun." Came a silky voice out of nowhere.

At then just like that, I broke the contact, to roll my eyes and clenched my fist.

I felt him tense up, "Angelica, what are you doing here?" He had a deep, velvety voice.

Tuning out the annoying blonde's voice, I looked at Remus, "Where's Peter?" Not that I care, just making small talk.

"He's in the infirmary, spending the day there, maybe even two, depending on Madam Pomfrey." Good, I never liked the fourth of the Maurauders. (Yes, they had named themselves, the prats) He didn't even fit in with the rest of them. He was short, ugly and fat as opposed to their tall, attractive athletic builds. He was so stupid and they all so smart, so intelligent. He also made me very uneasy. His watery eyes were always darting about; often I had caught him staring at me, something that made me incredibly uncomfortable, and that's something that I didn't easily feel. All in all I thought Peter to be scum and I don't know why the others kept him around.

"Alex are you listening to me?" Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I answered, "Yeah Remus, I can hear you just fine."

"That's not what I asked; I asked if you were listening to me."

"Yes. How did he manage to fall and knock himself out in the bathroom?" It's not like I cared, just had to prove a point.

"How do you do that?"

I grinned, distractedly "Magic." I couldn't help but think about what Black told me. Was I always this rude to everyone? Is that what everyone thought of me?

And just like that all the conversations all around me, the feelings and emotions, suddenly hit me like a huge wave that wouldn't subside. The euphoria and the sadness, the love, the hate, the pain, the expectancy and the uncertainty mixed with my own doubt and uncertainty was just too much. I can usually block most of the emotions, especially those of people not so close to me physically, and their thoughts; and they kind of become like a gentle wave constantly tapping away at a part of my brain, something that I'm used too. But there were certain moments when my control would slip, maybe 'cause I couldn't be strong all the time (literally) or when I was going through severe emotional or physical strain. Right now I could hear some girl wonder if her lipstick matched the uniform, I could her Remus thinking if the teacher would ask him a specific question about the book cause he'd just glanced through a couple of pages and hearing Angelica think about the night she spent with Sirius just made me want to heave. Knowing I just had a few seconds before I truly lost control, I got up and turned to Lily. She rose with me, despite the fact that she was confused and worried, she got up too but I gestured her to stop, knowing that she didn't really want to leave, "Stay." Waving my hands around me a vague motion, "I'm going to go." As if to prove my point the maple syrup bowl started to shake. Not caring what the others thought I meant, knowing she understood me, I waved to the guys and hurried out the hall.

As soon as the doors shut behind me, the tidal wave started to subside. This was one of the reasons I liked being alone, not surrounded by lots of people. I didn't like crowds. Maybe it was because of my powers or that I had these powers because the Fates had known I wouldn't like crowds. Either way, I was fine with it. Solitude was seriously under-rated.

Making my way back to the common room, I gave the Fat Lady the password and made my way to the sixth year dorms. I splashed some cold water on my face and tied my hair back into a pony tail. Once I was out of the bathroom I grabbed the books I needed for morning school and the homework that I had just finished last night along with Lily's bag that already had her stuff in it and made my way to the first lecture of the day, Muggle Literature.

--

It was just one of those classes that Dumbledore had introduced in order to promote goodwill for muggle-borns. In addition to Literature, there was also Math. Since not many people had opted for Lit., sixth and seventh year Gryffindors took the class together.

As soon as I entered the class I noticed Lily sitting with James, their heads tilted towards each other, deep in conversation, enjoying the only class they had together. I couldn't help but smile as I saw them, the heaviness in my chest let up a little. Just for my own gratification, I focused on them, letting their love and contentment wash over me, willing myself to believe that their emotions were my own. I closed my eyes as their love washed over me in warm waves. I didn't realize that I was blocking the way until someone brushed past me roughly. Startled, I put up the mental block instinctively and looked around and just about snarled as I saw that it was Black who had brushed past me. I shook my head angrily and made my way towards Lily and James. I handed Lily her bag, smiling and nodding to let her know that everything was okay and sat on the second last bench in the left hand-corner of the room, near the windows. Unfortunately, Sirius was sitting on the bench bind me, but I chose to ignore him and that burning sensation I felt on the back of my neck. Slowly the rest of the class entered and chose their seats. Alice sat next to me and Remus took the seat next to Black. Just as all of the thirty sixth and seventh years had taken their seats and our teacher Ms. Snyder entered.

"Good morning class," Without waiting for our reply she took our attendance.

"I hope you have all finished reading Romeo and Juliet as I had asked you too."

I rolled my eyes; this was one of the most annoying books I had ever read.

"Ms. Perry why don't you tell us what you thought of the book."

Great, off all times to ask me a question, I thought as I bit back a groan. Why couldn't she ask me last week when we read Little Women? Or the week before that when we read Pride and Prejudice. I love Pride and Prejudice, just like every other girl in this world. Or the time we read A Christmas Carol. Or maybe some other book we would read in the future, hopefully Calvin and Hobbes was on the syllabus.

"Ms. Perry?" Clearing my head of the thoughts of the only six year old that I loved and his imaginary yet lovable talking tiger, I noticed that Ms. Snyder and the rest of the class looking at me expectantly. Lily had this smirk on her face; she knew how much I hated the book, bitch.

"Well Ms Perry, you have read the book, haven't you?"

Nodding my head slowly, I replied, "Yes, Ms Snyder, I did read the book."

"So would you be kind enough to share your views with the class."

No I won't. "Juliet was an idiot." I blurted out. Word vomit, I hate it when that happens.

I saw Lily bite back a smile and heard Remus try to turn his chuckle into a cough. "Ms. Perry, would you be kind enough to stand up and explain exactly why you think that Juliet was an idiot?" Rolling my eyes, I slowly stood up. "Juliet was an idiot." I repeated, "For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision." I plopped down into my seat. Remus didn't bother hiding the laugh this time.

"I don't agree with Lexie, Ms. Snyder."

Rolling my eyes, without even looking at the person who was saying it, I muttered to myself "It's Alex and you know that." I unconsciously clenched my fist under the table.

"Ms. Goldberg, why don't you tell me why you disagree with Ms. Perry."

Angelica Goldgberg. Tall, blonde and beautiful. Stereotypical bitch that every high school slash magical school has. She, typically, came from a pure blood family dating back to the Middle Ages, and unlike the blondes that high school movies seem to portray, is quite smart. She and Sirius have quite the history. She was the one girl other than Mandy who had manged to snag him for two months month, last year. And according to the bathroom gossip she and him continue to 'meet up' occassionally.

"Well I think that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window." At this point, she gave Sirius a pointed look, twirling a lock of golden hair around her finger. My breakfast was coming up and fast.

"Love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it." I bit out.

"But they loved each other. Sometimes things just happen and there isn't a thing you can do about it when they do. I think it's romantic." She sighed, "They loved each other despite the fact that their families hated each other." Yes, the Goldbergs, like the Potters and Longbottoms, Weaselys and Prewetts are pro-muggles, and every idiot knows who the Blacks are. And no, Angelica doesn't know the meaning of subtlety.

I rolled my eyes, "Everyone thinks it's so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad…."

"I don't know why you are reading into this so much, Alex." Interjected Mandy as shook her head. "It's just a story, a love story, but a story nonetheless. So they weren't supposed to fall in love, but they did and that's

the point."

"They couldn't help it. Sometimes you can't help it." Angelica added. "Anyway Shakespeare just wrote what he felt like writing, it's not like it has a point to it anyway, so stop complaining."

I hate Angelica, I really do. And just how ignorant can people get? _Shakespeare had no point,_ my ass. Shakespeare always has a point.

"I don't want to make my opinion of the book known to the whole class. But Ms. Synder asked for my opinion so shut up and bear with it. You didn't have to interupt, cause if you hadn't I would have already finished."

And to Ms. Synder's soft yet firm warning in the form of a "Ms. Perry." I took a deep breath, trying to continue calmly, "Romeo and Juliet is sometimes considered to have no unifying theme, execpt that of young love. In fact, the characters in it have become emblems of all who die young for their lovers. That is the most obvious subject of the play." I looked at Ms. Synder, as if talking to her only. "But there is much more to it. Some much to read between the lines. There are so many hidden themes. For example- The play arguably equates love and sex with death." I was gesturing with my hands, looking around the class, making eye contact, trying to prove my point. "Throughout the story, both Romeo and Juliet, along with the other characters, fantasize about it as a dark being, often equating it with a lover. Capulet, for example, when he first discovers Juliet's (faked) death, describes it as having deflowered his daughter. Juliet later even compares Romeo to death in an erotic way. One of the strongest examples of this in the play is in Juliet's suicide, when she says, grabbing Romeo's dagger, 'O happy dagger! / ...This is thy sheath / there rust, and let me die.'" I quoted, "The dagger here can be a sort of phallus of Romeo, with Juliet being its sheath in death, a strong sexual symbol."

"No wonder you're still a virgin. Afraid of sex are you? Just like you're afraid of the darkness." Angelica taunted me under her breath. Everyone was meant to hear it, in an effort to embarrass me.

That's it. This girl had officially crossed the line. Clenching my fist, I stood up, I was so going to ruin her nose job (it looks like a nose job, it seems like a nose job, hence it has to be one, right?). But I felt a restraining hand on my shoulder. Turning around I met Remus' eyes, alert and warning. But I couldn't let her get away with that. Luckily Mrs. Snyder, who, in her effort to embarrass me in front of the entire class Angelica forgot about, beat me to it, "Detention for a week, Ms. Goldberg. While I do allow free discussions in my class room, I do not and will never condone such behaviour in my class. Meet me after class so that we can fix up the dates and make sure they don't clash with any extra-curicular activity." As long as the detentions weren't in the middle of the night, I was sure they wouldn't have any problems setting up dates.

Turning to me, she said, "Sit down Alex. Violence in not a solution." I rolled my eyes, muttering under my breath.

"Do you have anything more to say?" She asked me.

Nodding my head, I finally spat it out, "If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved whatever she got." I was into the whole argument. Once again I directed my words to Ms. Snyder, looking her straight in the eye, "I'd take fate into my own hands." Looking pointedly at Mandy, who was sitting next to Angelica, then at Sirius and back at Mandy, looking her straight in the eye, I said, "I wouldn't let some guy drag me down."

Ms. Snyder smiled and shook her head, "You'd be lucky if you ever had that kind of passion with someone, Ms Perry. Cause if you did, you both would be together forever."

Not knowing what to say to that, I just nodded and looked out the window. Would I? Did I want to fall in love, after looking at what it had done to my family, to Romeo and Juliet? Eyes gleaming she addressed the entire class, "Seeing how opiniated you all are, I have an idea for a term paper. You will write a paper on Romeo and Juliet and how similar or different it is from your own life. I want you to write about what you learnt from the book, I want to know what you thought about it. You will have an entire year to write the paper, you will turn it in in the week after Valentine's day, so I want to to be long. It has to be least ten pages." Raising her voice over the collective groans and shouts of disapproval, she continued, "You all are old enough to date, many of you are in relationships right now. I want you to right about the relationship and how similar or how different it is from what Romeo and Juliet had. I want to you write about what you learnt this year, not in your class about some werewolf or weird plant but about love, about romance. I want you to write, children, what's on your mind, what's in your heart, what you think, what you feel. I want you to write out your souls, because that's what love is all about." To punctuate her words, the bell rang, but no one moved. "The paper carries forty percent of your grade." Being a muggle class, it was graded the muggle way. "Do well." She smiled.

"Dismissed."


	3. Chapter three

Chapter 3:

The rest of the morning we had DADA and double potions, I loved potions with Slughorn.

During potions Lily didn't really say anything about that class, for which I was grateful. She knew when to say what.

"So what was all that about?" Okay maybe not.

"I don't know what you mean." Maybe if I really tried she would drop it.

"You know very well what I mean, Alex." Oh who was I kidding? This is Lily, who talks everything to death.

But I could be stubborn as well. "Lily, I really have no idea what you are talking about." I said in my best I'm-trying-to-be-patient voice.

She made an impatient noise at my obstinacy, "You were pretty rude to Ms. Snyder, you would have physically hurt Angelica if Remus hadn't stopped you and you weren't even subtle when you told Mandy to forget about Sirius."

"Well one: it's a literature class and she asked me what I felt and that's exactly what I did. I didn't mean to offend her or anything. Two: I hate Goldberg. Three: I don't care as long as Mandy gets it and it helps her. Black is a big boy."

The bell rang and we walked out, heading for DADA.

"Fair enough." She nodded, nearly running into a Slytherin creep. (I'm not prejudiced, but this bastard once picked on a first year and had I not interrupted he would have hexed him pretty bad. The kid had been so scared, I could practically taste it.) "You know you pretend not to care about others, but you do." She said randomly as we took our seats in the back.

I raised my eye brow. "Well you do. It's the little things you do, and don't think I don't notice them. You care, Alex. If you didn't you wouldn't have told Mandy what you did today in front of everyone. You remember saving that first year. The little thing had been so scared and you, Merlin, Alex, I could feel the anger radiating off you and the way you disarmed Stone, a Slytherin boy who's a year ahead of you… You had to have used some of your wiccan powers then." And I had. I had mentally pressed an artery of Stone's wand hand which made him drop his wand. He still doesn't know what happened that day. "You backed down from Angelica when Remus told you too, if you didn't care about him or what he thinks you wouldn't have listened to him." I had opened my mouth to interrupt her but she gestured me to shut up. "Empathy is one of your powers, Alex. Empathy is the ability to feel what others feel, and that gives you insight to real emotions, insight to who the person really is. You should be able to know who you can trust and who you can't. Also it makes you more attuned to your surroundings; makes you more sensitive. And Merlin knows why you hide it. The sensitivity, I mean. It wouldn't hurt you to show people what you really are underneath all that anger, sarcasm and cynicism." There was one thing about Lily, she always spoke with such passion and conviction that even if she was saying something wrong it would seem right to you.

"Can we not talk about this now?" I knew she would say something similar to what she just did. It's what she always said. My Wicca powers were a source of disagreement between the two of us. I always told her she wouldn't get it, and she told me if she didn't know what it was, if I didn't explain it then she surely wouldn't. I didn't want to talk about the morality of my powers so I rushed on, "And my telepathy and empathy don't work the normal way. I have to focus on the person who's feelings I want to feel, otherwise it's just like a constant wave up here." I waggled my fingers around my temple. "Agreed there are times during emotional… I don't know.. when I'm kinda emotionally funky my powers grow exponentially like during breakfast today but that doesn't mean…."

Lily had been practising her wand movement when she looked up sharply, "Oh yes, what happened during breakfast today?"

"Nothing significant."

She snorted. "Yes that agruement with Sirius was nothing signficant. The fact that you called him a bastard and he said that you suffer from constant PMS was nothing significant." She was emphasising on each word, something she only did when she was starting to get angry. I squirmed. What? I do feel fear, a red head getting angry is scary.

"Well I sorta… I don't even know. You see, Black's elbow kept brushing mine all morning. And he wouldn't even scoot over, it wasn't like I had any place to move. He's so stupid and aroogant." I said half- heartedly. The mention of today morning had brought back all the thoughts that I didn't want to think about. Ever.

Lucky for me the bell rang. I closed my book and put it in my bag and stood up. Lily patiently did the same, walking towards the door waiting for me to talk.

"Am I a bitch to everyone Lily?." I asked abruptly.

"I beg your pardon."

"You heard me. And you heard what he said. So am I a bitch to everyone?" I asked again.

Lily stopped walking and I turned to face her. She took a deep breath, stalling for time, to think of an answer no doubt. "You're only mean to the people you're afraid you'll get attached to." She said after we'd walked a while. "You're always looking for an excuse to push people away. What better way than be a bitch to them? I don't know when you're going to realize that not everyone is going to leave you, Allie. Look at Remus, James… even Mandy and Alice. It's time you let your guard down a little."

I didn't know what to say. She knew me so well. When she finally realized I wasn't going to say anything, she just shook her head "Come on, let's go for lunch."

I could only nod and follow. What else was I supposed to say to that? It was the second time in one day that someone else had gotten the last word. I was losing my touch.

--

Ever had that funny feeling in your stomach? The kind that makes you feel like you're going to throw up any moment; that fluttery feeling bang in the middle of your abdomen that is accompanied by lightheadedness and dizziness; the kind that makes you think you are kinda floating around, yet still your feet are firmly planted on good old Earth?

Have you ever felt that blood rushing to your brain the way it does when you hang upside down for a really long time?

Ever felt feverish, really giddy?

Have you ever felt all this at the same time?

Ever felt all this AND felt happy at the same time?

No, I haven't gone kooky in the head; this is what Alice says she feels whenever Frank Longbottom is around her. This is why, after scoffing at her I stalked out of the dorm, because I couldn't, just couldn't take the heavy sighs and squealing of the other girls as they agreed with her. When I heard Alice talk like that again (she's been talking like that ever since last year, and I think if she really feels so 'strongly' for Longbottom then she better do something. After all this is his last year) I wanted to barf, really, all that lovely Shepard's pie and roasted potatoes and grilled chicken and treacle pudding and chocolate pie and chocolate ice cream was going to come right out and seriously would you stay in the same room with a person who would make all these delicious yummy things that the lovely, lovely, _lovely _little house elves slaved (figuratively speaking, of course) over. Okay, seriously, I just can't help but think that if she really wanted something this bad she would have done something about it by now. But no. Nothing. I guess she's waiting for Frank to make the first move. At this point, no one seems more foolish than Alice, not even those stupid trolls disguised as students gallivanting about; oh come on, I'm talking about Crabbe and Goyle. Moving on, Alice talked about love at first sight, and true love and eternity and what not? I mean come on girl, you're only sixteen. There's plenty of time for true love and all that later on, and love at first sight? Pah, I believe in taking a deeper look.

Anyway, the rest of the stuff, I didn't believe it then either. The nausea, the butterflies-in-tummy-syndrome, lightheadedness… and all that jazz, I think it's a load of crap. Which is why here I am, away from them, with a bag of good old gummi bears in my lap.

"Hey."

I looked up from where I was looking into the fire and into Lily's eyes, "Hey yourself."

She sat down next to me on the couch that was placed in front of the fire in the common room. It was empty, considering it was just past midnight. I sighed, "Do you love James, Lils?"

She was silent for a while, "I do. I might not have told him yet, but I do. It wasn't something that happened overnight, I did hate him at one point. But you know what they say about there being a thin line between love and hate; I guess that's true after all. I didn't realize just when I crossed over to the other side. To hate something you have to have loved it at one point. But if you truly don't love it, then it shouldn't matter to you at all; be indifferent to it. I was never indifferent to James. Everything he did either irked me or was something that I found very endearing. I knew I liked him, but I didn't want to admit it. But then I got tired of fighting it, it was exhausting fighting what I felt. So I admitted it first to myself and then to him. Soon I let myself love him. I think if you don't care about something it's not possible for you to truly hate it. It shouldn't matter to you, but if it bothers you, then there's something there worth noticing."

I sighed.

"Why don't you believe in love, Alex?"

I thought for a moment before replying, "It's not that I don't believe in love, Lily. I just believe it causes more harm than good, so I'd rather just stay away from it. I'm okay that other people trust it enough to take that chance of heart-ache and pain, I'm not."

She looked at me, a questioning look in your eyes, "What does love feel like?" She doesn't mean it the way you're thinking, I'm an empath. I've felt love literally; she wants to know what that feels like.

I stopped, thinking how to explain it. I turned towards her, resting my back against the arm rest of the couch, drawing my legs close to my body.

"You know the HIV virus, they say the reason they can't find a cure for it is that it keeps mutating, changing its DNA structure such that by the time they have a cure for that one form it has transformed into another." The look on her face said that she hadn't known this before, grinning I continued, feeling slightly satisfied that this was one of the few times I knew something that she didn't. Taking a breath, I continued, "And how they say that every fingerprint is unique and no two finger prints are the same. That's what love feels like to me. It's unique and different in everyone. It just… tastes different every time."

"Everyone has their own way of loving so you can't compare love. You can't define it, you can't explain it, you can only feel it and express it the best way you know how. So it's not that I don't believe in love. 'Cause even if I wasn't an empath, I've felt it, you know. I still feel it. I feel it in me for my Grams and Grand-aunt Phoebe. I feel it for you, for Dad. I've seen the looks my grand-mothers get when they talk about their husbands and their children, their sisters. So I do believe that love exists and that people are capable of feeling it. But I don't trust it. I don't believe that love is enough to carry you through life, through relationships. There is a certain amount of choice involved, certain compromises, and certain understandings that come with it and I don't know if I'm capable of making them. That's what makes relationships, not just an emotion. So when Alice talks about all the butterflies and crap and I can't help but wonder, is she ever going to do anything about it or just feel it? What's the point of feeling something if you don't express it in a healthy way? It angers me that she claims she's felt this way about Frank for almost a year now, yet she refuses to act on it? What does she think that God is going to be proud of her and she can love a guy for a year and not expect anything and award her for that by making Frank fall in love with her, or does she think that fate will solve her problems for her?"

"Maybe she's just scared that he might not feel the same way." Lily reasoned.

"That certainly hasn't changed her feelings. It doesn't have anything to do with fear." I reasoned.

"It's not that easy you know. To just accept what you feel and throw your happiness in someone else's hands. It's not easy" she repeated. "Love is scary. It's just…" she shrugged.

"Love is nothing but a word for here is my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy. People take it where they can get it, and keep it as long as they can." Lily laughed at my approach, "There's no handbook to tell you what to do and how to do it. Love is something you have to define for yourself."

"Your definition is James Potter, love." Said a another voice. Startled, I looked to the entrance of the common room from where the voice came, Lily turned around to get a look at the person too. Recognizing the person, I rolled my eyes, "Hello James. How long have you been spying on us?"

Laughing, James joined Lily and me on the sofa, squeezing between the two of us and throwing his arm around Lily. There was movement to my left as Remus took the armchair and Sirius seated himself on the other one next to Lily.

"Great, now it's a party." I mumbled. "So what did you hear?" I asked suspisciously, no one knew about my 'special powers' except Lily and I didn't want anyone to hear me talk about them.

"Everything from when you declared your love for Lily." Remus teased. "So Alice likes, loves," he corrected "Frank?"

"You weren't supposed to hear that, you sneaks." Lily accussed.

"Alex you have some pretty profound theories regarding love." James turned to me.

"Well you heard them. I have nothing more to say." I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. "Gummi bears anyone?" Remus wordlessly stuck out his hand.

James just grinned at me and turned to face Lily, "Speaking of love, you know I love you right." He told her.

I looked at Lily to see her reaction. There was nothing but happiness in her eyes and she replied, "And I love you." James tried to hide his own happiness, as he nodded and dipped his head to kiss her. I averted my eyes to give them the privacy they deserved.

Unconsciously my eyes landed on Black. He was sitting silently on the armchair, deep in thought, staring at the rug that lay before the fire. The light of the fire made his face glow with a warmth, making his tan skin seem orangish. Nature had truly blessed Sirius Black. Tall, four inches over six feet, a well defined body, not like those muscled men whose muscles had muscles. He had black hair, shiny and soft (or least it seemed. It's not like I've ever touched it.) that fell into his eyes with a sort of the elegance that not many could achieve even with the help of hair gel. He had artistocratic features, sharp cheekbones, square jaw, straight nose and full lips. A light stubble lined that firm jaw, and a scar ran across his left eye brow. His eyes, even now were hooded, glowing with something I couldn't place. I hadn't seen that sort of grey in any one's eyes before. I had always thought that grey eyes were eyes that didn't really have any distictinct colour, but his were undeniably grey. Stormy and piercing, really accentuated the intimidated look that Sirius mastered a long time ago. He always seemed to brood, caught up in his own thoughts. The only time he'd crack a genuine smile was around James and Remus and his laugh sounded rusty, like it wasn't something he did often. Around others his smile was a forced one that didn't reach his eyes, his laugh bitter, not they noticed, something I thought to be impossible. Caught up in my thoughts, I was looking at Sirius, but not really seeing him.

"Alex." I felt someone shake me.

"What James?" I asked without looking at him.

"I know Sirius is good looking, but you've been staring at him for the past ten minutes now."

Hearing his name, Sirius at me and smirked. Gah, such arrogance.

Ten minutes, what crap. I was looking but not looking, thinking, you moron.

"Alex."

"Stop shaking me, James." I growled.

"Staring is bad manners you know." James said cockily.

"I wasn't staring at him, I was just thinking and looking in his direction, but not staring at him." I tried to explain, this was sort of embarassing. Being caught staring at a guy more than once in one day.

"Whatever you say, Alex."

"Shut up, Potter. I'm going to bed Lily, you coming?"

She nodded. We bade the guys goodnight, I think I slightly blushed when I nodded in Sirius' direction.

We were walking towards our dorms, the entrances to which were located on either side of the fireplace, when I spoke loudly to everyone in general, "He's not all that good looking you know." Just as Da Vinci's work is not all that impressive.

James chuckled, "You know he is."

I just rolled my eyes and muttered, "Yeah right."

"You were staring at one point, weren't you." Lily wanted to know as we climbed up to the sixth year dorms.

"Maybe." I said as we entered the dorm.

Alice and Mandy had been talking to each other and stopped abruptly as I entered and Lily followed. Lily casually cleared her throat but I knew the reason behind it. I nodded and walked to Alice's bed, where she and Mandy were sitting in their pyjamas. I looked into Alice's dark, warm eyes as I apologized. "Alice, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry." She opened her mouth, but I rushed on. "You know what?" I turned to look at Mandy too. "It seems like I've been having a bad six years. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with. I'm just not a people person… so don't take it personally." I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably as neither Alice nor Mandy said anything. "Right. Okay then, night."

I turned and started to walk towards my own bed when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I looked into Mandy's greenish- blue eyes, "We all have our faults, Alex. I'll never forget our first evening here when you dumped spaghetti on Angelica for picking on me." I grinned, that had been a great moment.

"Or that time you got Arbacus Stone to stop bullying Jackson Petrelli in second year." Alice added.

I nodded. They both smiled at me and I knew things were good between us.

That night I dreamt of a hooded figure with haunting grey eyes.


	4. Chapter four

Chapter 4:

**Disclaimer: **The song lyrics belong to Lifehouse.

"Fuck. Fuck.Godamnit."

Yeah, I know I have a dirty mouth. I don't usually curse this fluently (often being the key word), it's just that I had some Charms homework, and considering how I suck at Charms, it's a miracle that I actually wrote six inches off the foot and half essay that was due the next day. Viciously scratching out another sentence of my rough draft, (after many cases when I have handed in the first draft with all it's nurmerous cancellations and ridiculous thoughts, I had learnt that it was better to write everything first in a rough book and then get Lily or Remus to approve it before I handed it in.)

I referred to another book, cursing Lily to oblivion. "Bitch. All I wanted was to have a look, one damn look. It's not like I was going to copy the whole thing. Just parts here and there. Bloody bitch."

Currently the bane of my existance was off romancing that dashing chaser of hers. Yes, she was done with the essay and was enjoying the double free period that we shared with the seventh years to the fullest. Bitch.

I sighed, looking out the window. It was such a beautiful Thursday morning, rare one considering it was the last week of October (Halloween was in three days) almost everyone was out, that is the seventh and sixth years, the rest were in classes. The common room was empty, hence no one was throwing me weird looks for stabbing my notebook with my quill, talking and cursing to myself.

Running my hand through my hair, I doodled on the corner of my page, not really paying attention to what I was writing. Almost the entire page was full of random song lyrics, and seven lines of charms essay of which four lines were scratched out, a couple of triquetras that I'd drawn without realizing it. It wasn't that I was weak in school or anything. It's just I had to try harder than the others to perform the simplest of spells and understand the theory, I refused to let it bother me beause no matter how much I claimed to hate wand magic it was pretty neat and interesting, my current subjects were Charms, Transfiguration, DADA and Potions. Other than that I had Muggle Lit and math and History of Magic. I had dropped Care of Magical Creatures, Divination and Astronomy. Plus I had quidditch and running to get my mind off school work. Every once in a while I would admit to myself that Hogwarts wasn't half as bad.

I was here with my best friend, made a couple of new ones, I was in the care of one of the most powerful, wisest wizards ever. The grounds were beautiful, I even managed to interact with a unicorn that Hagrid had come across.

I sighed as I realized I hadn't managed to get even a small amount of the homework done. Charms sucks.

"_Forgetting all I'm lacking, _

_Completely incomplete."_

A deep, smooth voice read over my shoulder. Involuntarily, a shiver ran down my spine.

"I'll take your invitation

You take all of me, now." He completed.

Setting down my quill, I turned around and looked up, "You listen to Lifehouse?" Despite the fact that I decided he was scum I really couldn't believe that he knew a muggle song.

He shook his head, his hair shifting slightly, "Not really. Although a couple of their songs are pretty good. They sound like a pop group in this song. The lyrics aren't bad though."

"You listen to muggle music?" I asked, incredulously. My neck was starting to hurt.

He took a seat next to me with his back leaning against the coffee table. "Don't sound so surprised."

Ignoring the sudden bout of nervousness that came over me as our shoulders brushed, I replied, "Why aren't you out with the others enjoying the beautiful day?" I wasn't nervous because I liked him or anything; it's that kind of nervousness that you experience with a really smart, popular senior actually acknowledges you. As outgoing and don't-carish I may seem, I am quiet and shy around people I don't know. I continued to write lyrics, my hand just writing without me thinking anything really.

"I just woke up. I was on my way out when I heard you cursing and trying to scratch a hole in your book." He sounded amused.

I looked at him, the corners of his lips were slightly turned up and his eyes were twinkling. He was amused. That bastard, laughing at my expense. Ignoring my nervousness, I curtly replied, "Well don't let me hold you back. I'm sure you have plenty to do. Have a good day." I could so be polite when I wanted to be.

Chuckling, he said, "No, really. I'd rather stay." What was with him? The last time we'd been together he'd all but called me a bitch and I'd most definitely called him a bastard. Why was he sitting next to me, talking to me as if we were friends?

"Just what is so amusing about me?" I demanded.

"What makes you think I'm amused by you?" He asked innocently.

"Oh please, cut the act, Sirius. Why are you here? The last time, which by the way was the first time we ever spoke, you implied that I am a bitch and I called you a bastard."

Instead of getting angry like I thought he would, his eyes brightened with suppressed laughter. I'm pretty sure he said, "Fine so I'm here to see what's got you all worked up and see if I can add fuel to the fire." Then again I could be wrong because I was busy staring at his eyes to pay attention to what he was saying. While he truly had a handsome face, his eyes were something else entirely. Right now the amusement and suppressed laughter were making them twinkle brightly, making he seem so kind, so approachable and just so damn amiable.

"Hello, Lexie, did you hear me?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I responded intelligently.

"Are you okay Lexie?" He asked me taking in the blush, which spread across my face as I realized what I was thinking.

"You called me Lexie." I accused him as I tried to stop blushing.

Raising an eyebrow he said, "So?"

"Don't call me that. I hate it."

"Well I think it's better than Alex, so tough. And the fact that you don't like it makes it all the more appealing."

There was the jerk I knew and hated.

"Go away, you're distracting me. I have homework to do. I don't time to be your source of amusement and I'm not going to take the bait and sit and argue with you." Why am I talking so much?

"You were distracted before I got here." He said, gesturing to the doodles and lyrics scribbled all over the page.

"Yeah well, you're distracting me even more. I really have to get this done. Lily, the bitch that she is, won't show me her work and I suck at Charms."

"I'll help you, I am excellent at Charms." He winked at me.

"And modest too." I mumbled.

I weighed my odds, accepting help from Sirius Black just proved how desperate I was and desperate wasn't what I wanted to appear to Sirius Black. But then again, this is Charms we're talking about. I couldn't perform Wingardium Leviosa till the middle of second year. When asked to perform the Cheering Charm on Lily I had somehow sent Professor Flitwick to the hospital wing with singed hair. I shuddered as I remembered my punishment for that. Cleaning out the stalls of all the girl's bathrooms in the castle (the ones that weren't inside the towers and in the case of Slytherin- dungeons) had been a total nightmare.

"Wasn't it your essay that Flitwick read out to all the classes in your fourth year- the one about Summoning and Banishing? So that no one ever wrote anything like that again?" He was rubbing salt on the wound, and he knew it.

"Fine." I snapped. I knew Lily wouldn't help me and neither would Remus. Here was one of the smartest students in this school, offering to write an essay for me. I would shut up and listen to what he had to say if that meant him doing my homework for me. Okay, maybe I wouldn't shut up, but I would be a little less rude.

Grinning he took the book and quill from my hand, started to write. For the next ten minutes the only sound that could be heard was off the clock ticking and the quill scratching away on the paper.

"There," he said, as he threw down the quill with flourish, "all done."

Taking the notebook from him, I skimmed the essay, and grudgingly accepted that it was pretty good. "Thank you," I mumbled.

"You don't like me very much, do you?"

"Gee what gave me away?" I said sarcastically, but it was half- hearted.

Lately, I'd been thinking, about stuff; about me. Lily had always told me that I was very judgmental, that I didn't give people a chance before I formed opinions about them and lately that seemed to be true. I was quick to judge Mandy, just because I didn't agree with Alice's thoughts I'd openly criticized her feelings and laughed at her, one of my good friends and I had decided that Sirius Black was scum. Well he kind of was, considering the all the hearts he broke. And the way he had spoken to me but everyone has faults right, even I did. So who was I to judge people so quickly?

So for the first time in a long time, I cleared my throat and hesitantly answered, "Well not exactly. It's just Charms doesn't really bring out the winner in me."

He chuckled, "Neither does Romeo and Juliet or Angelica, James or me."

Indignant, I was going to snap back at him, but I realized that what he said was true, in a way. Grudgingly, I answered, "Well I explained my feelings concerning Romeo and Juliet. James is more of a friendly banter. Angelica and I have history that goes back to the first evening here. She was picking on Mandy and no one was saying anything to stop it. So I dumped my spaghetti on her head." I grinned, that memory never failed to bring a smile on my face. He laughed, "Yeah I remember that night." Merlin, his laugh. My abdomen tightened at the sound of it. James wanted to make you a Maurauder, but when he saw you being nice to Snivelly, he changed his mind.

"Hey, don't talk like that about Severus." I was angry again. From the corner of my eye, I saw Lily and James enter the common room along with Remus, Mandy, Alice and Frank.

"You are still defending him after what he said to Lily after our OWLS that day?" I asked me, his voice suddenly emotionless.

I opened my mouth but shut it again, considering I didn't know what to say. I knew that Severus had feelings for Lily, I knew about his childhood. But nothing excused the fact that he called her a mud-blood almost two years ago, but something in me still believed that Severus didn't deserve the way the Maurauders treated him. "The only reason he is so defensive is because of you and your friends and the way you have treated him. He was an awkward boy who you picked on cause you had nothing better to do. You humiliated him time and again, just because you were fucking bored. And that image got stuck in everyone's head. No one ever gave him a chance so what else do you expect from him? It's only a matter of time before you start pushing back. It might be with someone who doesn't deserve it, but can you really blame him? The only reason James attacked him that day was because you were fucking bored. So please don't get all sanctimonious on me." I hissed angrily.

He laughed bitterly. "You judge me and James based on Merlin knows what. But you will automatically defend a Slytherin who insulted your best friend. Not once, but time and again. I see the way you behave with James, the way you are with Mandy and Alice and everyone else. You're nothing but cold, angry and bitchy. And closed up. What right do you have to judge us?"

Just moments ago we were having a decent conversation, how did things change so quickly? What he said was true, but I wasn't thinking rationally. I was so angry, he called me cold? Me, cold?! And closed up! The nerve.

I stood up, and looked down at him. "Judge you without reason? What the hell are you talking about? You walk around, with that gorgeous smirk and charm the pants of any girl and then after one night, maybe a couple if she's really lucky you'll drop her like a hot potato and move on to your next conquest." In a flash, he stood up too. "Mandy, Jesus. Do you have any idea what you did to her? I had to stay up all night; I couldn't get any sleep because you dumped her and she stayed up the whole night crying. She loved you." I poked him in the chest. "She fucking loved you. And you just ended it, like she didn't mean anything to you. There are so many girls who think they are worthless because of you." I poked him again. And I couldn't help but notice how hard his chest was. Focus, Alex! "You think you own the whole school, the way you walk and prank anyone and everyone. Hexing people 'cause you're bored or because they didn't look at you right. I might be cold and angry and bitchy. But least people know how I feel about them. I don't lead them on just to screw them over later. At least I'm not arrogant and at least I don't have an ego the size of Asia." I was so angry. Breathing heavily, I shoved my bangs out of my eyes and looked up at him, straight in the eye. He was furious, his eyes were blazing. With a perverse satisfaction, I noticed that least I made some emotion flicker in those gorgeous but hooded eyes.

He was breathing heavily too. His chest heaving, but he didn't say a word. I laughed, the sound so bitter, to my own ears, "I thought so."

Bending down, I picked up my books off the coffee table we had been working on and later leaning against as we spoke and turned to him one last time, "Thank you for the essay." I snarled and brushed past him.

I didn't make it that far; barely two steps when I felt his hand on my arm, warm and firm. My traitorous body was delighted at the contact. He turned me around. "What?" I spat. "Something more you'd like to call me?"

His other hand grabbed my other arm and he pulled me close, too close to him as he leaned down. If it hadn't been for that murderous look in his eyes I would have thought he was going to kiss me, "Don't you dare judge me. You know nothing about me." He whispered angrily.

I stood on my tip toes, our lips only inches away, "Just as you know nothing about me." I shot back.

"Alright. Both of you, back off, now." James instructed authoritatively. He tried to move Sirius' fingers that were wrapped around my arms, trying to get in between the two of us, but we weren't budging. So Remus came forward to help. He put a soothing hand on my back, "Come on, Alex." He said in that soft, reassuring voice of his.

"Seriously, Padfoot. Don't make me give you detention." James, also Head boy, wrestled to get Sirius away from me. "Padfoot." James shook him. Sirius threw me one final disgusted look and let James lead him to their dorm.

Not looking at anyone, I bent down to pick up my books that had fallen on the ground when he grabbed me. Then I ran up the stairs as fast as I could and shut the door to the dorm behind me and leaned against the door, trying to get my heart to slow down. As I flopped down my on my bed I could still feel his strong fingers on my arms. I shook my head, but I could still feel his hard body against mine. I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side. My last coherent thought before I fell asleep was that is breath smelled like cinnamon.

--

Ever had that feeling where you know you're sleeping, and you're aware of how comfortable you are that you just don't want to wake up? That's exactly how I feeling, all warm and comfortable; safe.

Abruptly my eyes flew open and I abruptly sat up and pain erupted across my forehead. "Damn Alex. I told you to open your eyes, not shoot up and bang your head against mine." Rubbing my head, and shaking the sleep from my eyes, I slowly focused on what was happening around me. Lily was sitting on the edge of my bed, with a frustrated look on her face, rubbing her own forehead. I sighed, "Sorry Lils. I didn't know you'd be leaning over me."

"I had to; I had to literally shake you, Al. You just weren't getting up. You missed all your morning classes. It's lunch now, so come on, get your ass moving." With that she got off my bed and moved to my side table where my bag was and slung it over her shoulder.

"Why did you let me sleep in?" I asked as I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes.

"I figured you needed it." She said simply.

"I'm taking your bag and going to the Hall. Come down after you've washed your face and everything." She paused at the door, "Oh and don't worry about Mandy. She didn't take what you told Sirius in the wrong way. But you should still talk to her about it."

Just what I didn't want to think about- charms, today morning and Sirius Black. The memory of the fight in front of everyone made me blush.

"I'm the telepath, you know." I told her.

"And I'm your best friend." She replied and then closed the door behind her gently.

Hiding my face behind my hair, I nodded, got out of bed, washed my face, pulled my hair back into a high ponytail and made my way down to the Hall.

I pushed the door to the Great Hall open and searched for bright red hair. There it was, next to an untidy mop of black hair, in our usual place. Dodging two weird girls hugging each other, while simultaneously jumping up and down and squealing, I reached the place where Lily and James were sitting. If I had been a fool I'd have hoped that Sirius wasn't there, but I'm not a fool. There he was, sitting right across Lily and James and the only vacant place was one next to Lily opposite him. Great, next to the most perceptive person I know and across the person I never want to talk to again. Praying to some higher power for the endurance power, I sat down next to Lils and started to serve myself some pot roast and mashed potatoes. Remus, who was sitting across James and next to Black, grinned at me, "Feeling better?"

Not looking up from my plate, knowing who was staring at me, I just nodded. "There was nothing wrong in the first place."

"She was finishing her Charms homework. What do you expect, Rem? You know how tiring Charms can be for Allie." Lily nudged me, teasing me oh-so subtly.

James added his own two cents, "I read that essay you wrote last week, before Remus stepped in." He laughed, "Merlin Alex, I knew Charms was your weak spot, but that was just hilarious."

I didn't say anything, just shot him a mock glare and went back to meticulously cutting the pot roast and just moving it around in my plate. I knew what they were trying to do and I appreciated it. But my stomach felt like someone was squeezing it and the very thought of food was nauseating. Also, I was sure _he_ was still looking at me, I could just feel it. Self-consciously, I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Lexie, you okay?" Lily asked, worry laced through her words.

I remembered how that name had rolled of his tongue just a couple of hours ago, it made my stomach worse. Shaking my head I corrected her, "Fine, as long as you don't call me Lexie, Lils." I still refused to look up.

"I don't get your aversion to the name Lexie, Alex. It's a perfectly normal name." Remus said, pointing his fork at me.

I looked up, finally. Scrunching up my nose, I said, "It sounds like the name of some rabbit or goat or something." I shook my head. "Lexie." I tested the name, but it didn't feel right. Not the way it had felt when he had said it.

Everyone burst into laughter, including him. It was such an amazing sound, deep and rich. I dared a look at him; just as he looked at me. His eyes never ceased to take my breath away. They were shinning with amusement, the edges crinkled, his mouth was set in a smile, his teeth sparkling, his hair was falling into his eyes and to put it in the simplest of terms, he was gorgeous. When he noticed that I was looking at him, he did something surprising; he smiled at me again and involuntarily I smiled back. My stomach was clenching so badly that I was sure I was going to throw up anytime soon.

I got up and looked at Lily, "Lils, I don't feel so good so I'm going to go back to bed. Can you McGonagall and Sluggy that I'm not well?"

Lily nodded, concern evident in her eyes, "Sure, of course I will. What's wrong with you anyway?" Her eyes were roaming my face, taking in my flush and somewhat irregular breathing.

"My stomach is acting all weird, I'm also a bit light headed and nauseous." Least I wasn't lying about the symptoms.

"Must be that time of the month." James mumbled, not so discreetly. Lily turned and smacked him on the back of the head just as someone, I'm guessing Remus, kicked him under the table because he let out a loud, "Ow!" and grabbed at his leg below the table and then rubbed the back of his head.

I bit back a grin.

Remus glared at him and looked at me, "Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfrey. She'll give you something to make you feel better."

I highly doubt that Rem, but I didn't say that out loud, "I just want to sleep in my bed. That's all. I'll be fine."

Lily nodded and got up, "I'll walk you back to the dorm." Seeing me open my mouth to argue she added firmly, "I insist." Well you just can't argue with Lily sometimes. Nodding mutely, I started to leave, just as the boys mumbled some weird get-well-soons.

I glanced back at Sirius one last time. His was looking at me with an unreadable expression. His eyebrows were creased and his mouth set in a straight line. Sucking in a shaky breath, I left the hall with Lily.

Lily went with me all the way.

She helped me into my bed, tucked me in and even smoothed back my hair. Smiling at me, she turned around and left the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

I let out a deep sigh and sunk into the warm goodness of my bed, just what had happened today? Black had helped me with my charms homework, we'd had a pretty decent conversation before yelling at each and then when he had grabbed me and pulled me towards him I had enjoyed it. Now I was extremely nervous in his presence? That made absolutely no sense. Just yesterday Sirius Black was a notorious playboy who I wouldn't give the time of my day. And today I was thinking it wouldn't have been so bad if he had kissed me? This was just so weird. Everything happened so fast, I didn't know what to make of it.

I sighed again, running a frustrated hand through my hair. If I was going to be completely honest with myself, I'd admit that Sirius Black had always intrigued me. Not because he was oh-so-hot or something, but because of just who he was and why he was the way he was.

I laughed out loud, just what the hell was I thinking? Kissing Sirius Black. I would need a couple of hours to get over this… whatever the hell this was and then I'd be fine. Yeah, I would. Convincing myself that this was all there was to it, I closed my eyes and drifted off.

--

That night I skipped dinner, camping out on my bed with my stash of candy and junk food. I thought what Mandy might have thought of the things that I had thrown at Sirius. She'd never told him that she had loved him. I thought back to the days when she had been his girlfriend. He had asked her out on the third day of school and she had been on cloud nine. The relationship had ended just two days before the breakfast incident.

Over the course of those couple of weeks, Mandy had been ecstatic, floating through everyday. I had never seen her so happy. And when she was with Sirius, the glow on her face was blinding. Sirius too had seemed content. And then one day, not one week ago, just like that without a warning he had ended it with her.

The fact that Mandy had been broken hearted was an understatement. When she entered the dorm that night, I had been the only one there. Lily had been with James and Alice was tutoring some second year. She had walked into the room dazed, not replied when I had asked her what happened and just plopped down on my bed. She'd turned to face me and that expression in her eyes had floored me… you could see the rejection, the hopelessness and the pain clearly in her eyes. Wordlessly, she had put her head in my lap and started to cry. We had sat like that till three in the morning when she finally fell asleep, even then I didn't have the heart to move, afraid that she would wake up and start crying again. I hadn't gotten any sleep that night, and despite my best defenses Mandy's emotions had mingled with mine. When Alice and later Lily had returned, they had been shocked to see Mandy and me, knowing immediately what had happened, they had placed themselves on my either sides, our backs resting against my headboard, hands rubbing soothing circles on Mandy's back. We'd all spent that night in my bed, silent yet trying our best to be comforting.

"Mandy." I said, as soon as she entered with the rest of them after dinner.

I saw her shoulders heave as she sighed, before turning to face me. "When I said that I had to stay up all night, I didn't mean for it to sound as if it inconvenienced me in some way. In fact, I am glad it was me and not anyone else who was here that night. I just wanted to prove that I don't hate him for no reason at all. I wanted him to see just how many friends of mine he'd hurt just so that he could prove whatever the hell he'd trying to prove to himself and others." I was apologizing just too much lately.

"I know Alex." She said softly. "I'm glad you were here too." And then she smiled at me. The next thing shocked me just as much as it shocked the rest of them. I got out of bed and walked to her and hugged her as hard as I could. "I'm glad you understood."

She didn't say anything, just hugged me back.

**A/N: **Reviews will really help. Thank you.


	5. Chapter five

Chapter 5:

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing that you recognize other than the original characters.

My lungs were burning, my mouth was dry, my breathing was ragged and the muscles in my leg were protesting. Music was playing in my ears, the wind was a light caress on my cheek and I'd never felt better.

"…Alexandria Perry!" I slowed myself to a halt and pulled my earphones from my ear.

"Alex! Here."

I turned to my left and there was Lily, across the Great Lake, waving at me. Just a little behind her were the Maurauders minus Sirius. It was Halloween today, the holiday I hated with every fibre of my being.

I waved back at her, put my earphones back in her place that ran around the lake to where the four of them were. By the time I reached the other side of the lake, the Gryffindor party had relocated itself to a place on the grounds, under a willow tree. There I saw that Sirius, Mandy, Alice and Frank were with them as well. I jogged the rest of the way to them and then unceremoniously dropped to the ground and laid back on my back. I was breathing heavily, sweaty and very thirsty. And since I was with people, and I was a well mannered girl (yeah right!) I took out one ear bud leaving the other so I could hear the music and the conversation.

Now that my body was cooling down, I could feel the October cold seeping in. My running shorts would have to be traded for sweat pants and the light cotton t-shirt for a sweatshirt.

"Hot legs, Perry." James drawled. He was leaning against the tree and Lily curled up into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

I raised my head slowly and looked at him, grinning, "I know." Exhausted, I dropped my head back on the grass, "Jesus. Does anyone have water with them? I forgot to carry some with me."

"I noticed your bottle in the dorm, so I got it for you." Lily, the life-saver answered me. "And for god's sake Alex, reduce the volume on your iPod. I can hear it all the way here. You're going to go deaf one of these days."

"Yes, mom." I sat up and caught the bottle she threw me and drained it half in one long sip. Then I pulled my hair out of the ponytail and retied it. That's when I realised that everyone was looking at me. "

What?" I asked defensively. When no one said anything I got up. "I'm going to head back and shower. I'll meet you guys back here in half an hour."

Peter laughed, rather he giggled, "I don't think we'll be here when you get back Alexandria. Half an hour to a girl in the shower is a good hour and half for us guys."

I closed my eyes and started to count to ten, one of these days Peter was going to get his wand shoved where the sun don't shine if he kept talking to me this way. Just as I was going to answer, James spoke up. "Shut it, Peter. Alex showered in under 10 minutes last Monday when she was late for literature class. Go ahead, Lex. We'll wait for you here."

I cocked my head to one side, "Lex?"

He shrugged, "I think it's better than Alex."

I smiled, "I like it."

"Well go on and hurry up, the plants are dying and my eyes are watering at the smell you're giving off." I flipped him the bird and ran back to the castle.

After a nice hot shower, I got out of the bathroom. I picked out a grey full sleeved t-shirt that had a wide neck and a pair of dark Levis. After toweling my hair a little, I pulled on a pair of flat heeled black boots made of the softest suede ever. I loved those boots to death. I wrapped a black scarf around my neck, grabbed my knee length black pea coat and gloves and dashed out of the dorm. I checked the time, just as I was leaving the common room, twenty nine minutes since I came from the grounds. Hah, in your face Peter. As I walked to the castle grounds, I couldn't help but think how much things had changed in the past couple of days. I was closer to Mandy and Alice. Sirius and I were back to ignoring each other. After that fight three days ago, I hadn't seen much of him other than at meal-times. Occasionally, while running, I would see someone like him from the corner of my eye, but most of the times I was mistaken. It seems as though both of us were avoiding each other. And that suited me just fine. While I knew that I really didn't want to have anything much to do with Sirius, he was just so mysterious and open at the same time that I knew it was a matter of time before I was attracted to him. Which, after a lot of thinking and consideration, I was willing to admit, was a possibility. Maybe I already was. I gave a mental shrug, who wasn't? But I didn't want anything more than that. It wasn't even a crush or something, just pure attraction. Physical attraction and to a very primitive level, emotional as well.

As I entered the school grounds, and felt the cold wind on my face and through my hair, I couldn't help but smile. I loved the wind and how it felt against my body. The fresh smell, the light caress, it just was something else. As it picked up, my smile widened.

That's what I looked like, when I neared the group, which had grown considerably. I greeted Lily, James, Peter, Remus, Mandy, Alice, Frank and Sirius with a goofy smile on my face, as I fell to the ground next to Remus. I was really in a good mood, "Hello. All you lovely people." And then I laughed.

"Are you high?" Frank asked tentatively. Not that I blamed him.

"If you mean on life, then yes." I answered pleasantly.

"Uh-oh. It's weirdly happy Alex. She's really scary. Psychopathic scary." Alice groaned.

"Just what's wrong with me?" I asked, indignantly. "When I'm all grumpy you don't like it, when I'm all happy you don't like it. I don't know what else to be." Though I was a little ticked off, the smile wouldn't leave my face.

"It's scary when you're both grumpy and happy for no reason at all." Alice answered.

"Well then stop being scared, 'cause I have a reason."

"And what might that be." Remus asked, gently.

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. His arm circled my shoulder. I sighed, not knowing how to explain to these people just what I was feeling. "Alex." Remus nudged his shoulder, the one I had my head on.

"Tell us." Frank urged me.

"It's the wind isn't it?" James finally said softly.

I was surprised, "How did you know?"

He shrugged, "It's that same expression you get every time you fly. You just close your eyes, tilt your head back and that smile that you smile is just so… carefree. I can tell you love being out there on that broomstick." Which was shocking, cause when I had found out they really did fly on broomsticks, I had tears of anger in my eyes.

The rest of them were looking so expectantly at me that I couldn't bring myself to not tell them.

Lifting my head from Remus' shoulder, I looked around, "Ever since I've been a kid, I've always had this thing about flying. I would imagine what it would feel like to just float in the air, have the wind rush past you, roar in your ears and run through your hair. The way it would feel against your skin. The view from so high up. That feeling of being free and weightless." I smiled, "Anyway, since it's impossible to fly without the help of a broomstick and I know that for a fact. I broke my arm once trying to." I broke of to laugh lightly. Grams had been so mad. Aunt Phoebe had just laughed. "And it's weird to fly on a broomstick all the time. So the next best thing is running. Sometimes when I run fast enough, I feel weightless… the wind against my face, in my hair, the fresh smell, the adrenalin… I feel like if I run fast enough I leave all the problems behind, like nothing can keep me in… I feel free. It's such a high." I looked around, uncomfortable, since no one was saying anything. I looked down, fiddling with the hem of my t-shirt, clearing my throat.

"See now that wasn't so hard was it?" Remus whispered in my ear. I looked up, into his warm eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I whispered back.

He looked up, and then back at me. "The sky didn't fall on your head the one time you actually shared something personal." There was a mischievous look in his eyes.

I laughed, "No it didn't."

"Wow, Alex. I have known you for the past six years and this is the first time I have heard anything that's remotely personal and not sarcastic from you." Mandy said, in an awed voice.

Alice nodded, "We've shared a dormitory for the past six years and finally I can say I know something substantial about you other than the fact that you're smart and witty."

"What are you talking about? I've told you guys about me." I said, looking at them.

Mandy laughed and Alice snorted, as if to say 'yeah, right.'

I sat up straight, "Seriously. Come on, I'm not that closed up. I tell you guys stuff."

"Like what? I know that you're American because of your accent. But I don't know where you're from in America. Or how you got accepted to this school since only British and Irish people go to this school." Alice pointed out.

"Or how you knew Lily before school or who you live with. What your parents do. We know nothing, Alex." Mandy added, gently.

I looked around, Lily was silent. But I could tell everyone else agreed with Mandy and Alice. I knew quite a lot of stuff about James and Frank. I basically knew Mandy and Alice inside out. Remus and I were good friends, we talked. Heck I even knew about Sirius' estrangement with his family and his disownment. No one other than Lily knew jack-shit about me. I felt really bad.

I sighed, "It's not easy for me to answer all these questions."

"We don't want the entire family history, Lex. Just a couple of facts, nothing ugly." James said in a soothing voice.

Here were people, people who cared enough about me to stick around even when I wasn't willing to trust them with anything. They deserved some facts. "Well, I live in San Francisco, California with my grandmother and her sister. It's an old Victorian manor that's been in the family for ages. My dad died when I was five years old. After which my mom decided that she couldn't bring me up cause I reminded too much of him. She was a witch like you guys, she even went to Hogwarts. My dad moved here to be with her, I was born here. So that's how I knew Lily before Hogwarts, we were neighbours and why I go to school here. I listen to a lot of music, I love to run. Blue is my favourite colour." I rubbed the back of my neck, I was uncomfortable. "Is that enough?"

James smiled, "For now." He nodded, "Yeah."

I smiled. That really wasn't so bad. When I looked at Lily, she nodded at me and I could tell she was proud of me.

Against my better judgment, I looked at Sirius. He was looking at me with an unreadable expression. When our eyes met, a ghost of a smile flitted across his face. I quickly broke the contact to answer Frank's questions about the Golden Gate Bridge and other attractions of San Francisco, as he had been there with his parents one time.

"So how many of you are going for Sluggy's Halloween party?" James asked. "Lily and I are going as Princess Leia and Han Solo."

"Well you're Head boy so there's no way you aren't. Which means Lily is going as well. All prefects are invited too, which means Remus, Frank, Mandy and I have invites. Sirius, due to his lovely family contacts, is invited as well. This leaves out just Peter and Alex." Alice listed off.

"Well I can take you along and Sirius can bring along Peter." Remus offered.

I shook my head. "There's no need. I'm going to the Halloween party."

"Why not?" James asked.

"Well," I thought it would be best to just come out and say it, "I hate Halloween."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Sirius said sarcastically.

"Aren't you the smart one?" I began but Lily cut me off.

"Seriously guys, I don't think you can change her mind on that one." No one missed the glare she shot Sirius. Both Alice and Mandy nodded, they knew about my hate for the holiday.

"No, really, why do you hate Halloween." Frank wanted to know as well.

I sighed, "It's just that…." How can I explain it to them without telling them about my Wiccan heritage? They waited patiently while I sorted it out in my brain. "I grew up with magic as an integral part of my life, it wasn't just what I did, you know, it was… is who I am. I was always told that good and bad magic depends upon the person who wields it. Magic itself isn't good or bad. But people talk about how Halloween is the day for evil beings, for werewolves and vampires and demons. For evil witches with warts on their noses who wear black robes and swish wands and have pet crows. They dress up as fairies and other magical beings… not knowing the truth about any of it. Every time I see a werewolf or vampire I swear I just…" I clenched my fist. "People distort the only world I've ever known in the name of a holiday. Sing and laugh about it, rejoice in it. And I hate that."

I looked at him. He was looking at me and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. His eyes were hooded again. He just kept looking at me, straight in the eye. So I cheated, I focused my empathy on him, wonder filling my being. He was surprised and ashamed?

"Wow." Remus said and I turned to face him and saw that he was looking at me with a really funny expression.

"Wow what?" I asked.

"You really believe it's not who a person is but what he does that makes him good or bad?" Whoa, where did that come from?

"Erm, yeah. Why do you ask?" I was confused.

"You surprise me everyday, Alex. Every single day." Remus muttered, almost to himself.

"Er, ok-ay?"

"Wow, I never thought about it like that." James said.

I shrugged, "Most don't. And that's okay. This is just what I think and I don't want to impose my beliefs on you guys. So what is everyone else going as?" I asked, trying to take the attention off me.

Remus said he was going as a werewolf and I couldn't help but grin. Gentle, calm Remus dressing as a large, volatile beast. I just couldn't picture it. So I laughed, "I just can't imagine you as a werewolf. You're just so… Remus and werewolves are so not Remus… I can't picture you as a volatile, raging beast." Remus laughed as well, but I thought I heard a note of bitterness in it.

Alice and Frank were going together as a Victorian couple. No one said much about that, knowing what a big step it was for them.

Sirius was going as Count Dracula and I could picture that just so well. Cold yet charming, sexy and dangerous. That was Sirius.

Slowly, I stopped participating in the conversation, just letting the other's voices wash over me. And for the first time I felt like I belonged. I sighed as I snuggled closer to Remus, his arm tightening around mine in reply.

Despite the fact that today was Halloween and I hated Halloween, I couldn't help but think what a good day it had been

--

"Alex, would you please pass me the potions textbook." Lily said from her seat on the couch opposite the fire place, not looking up from the essay she was writing about the Felix Felicis potion.

"Move your ass and get it yourself." I replied, engrossed in my own essay about the advantages of non-verbal spells.

It was almost one in the morning, but we were finishing our home work for the weekend so that we'd be able to go to Hogsmeade on, both, Saturday and Sunday.

"Just send it over here please." She pleaded, looking around, as if to confirm that we were, in fact, alone.

Rolling my eyes, I answered, "The things I do for you." Without even looking in her direction or at the book, I used my telepathy to send the book to Lily. Just as I levitated it and moved it a bit, someone cleared their throat. Not breaking my concentration, I noticed the Maurauders had entered the Common Room. Did they ever sleep?

This is exactly what I asked them, in general. "Don't you guys ever sleep?"

But no one answered me. They were all staring at something, oh shit the book was still hovering a couple of feet from Lily. And she was staring at me with a scared look on her face. Thinking quickly, I telepathically told her to hold her wand in her hand. She took out her wand from her bag as discretely as she could and held it in her hand, without arguing with me. As she was removing the wand, I addressed the Maurauders again, "What the hell are you staring at?"

Peter squeaked in reply, "That book is just hovering in the air. You think Nearly Headless Nick is trying to scare us?"

"Well if he was, then he's not doing a good job cause you're the only one who's scared. Sorry to disappoint, Peter, but that's not a ghost." I replied dryly. Just why did they boys keep him around?

"Then would you like to explain why the book is hovering in the air like that?" Sirius asked me, his tone equally dry. My breath hitched, this was the first time that he ever spoke to me after that disastrous morning a month ago. But I recovered soon, "Lily was just using the hovering charm on the book. That's all." I replied nonchalantly.

He cocked an eye brow, "Isn't it rather late for her to try and master a spell that they teach in the first year."

"I didn't say anything about her trying to master it. Lily's amazing at Charms and everyone knows that. She's just teaching me the correct way of swishing and flicking and the correct pronunciation and how to do all of the three simultaneously. As it has been previously established, I do suck at Charms." I replied politely, too politely. "Anything else you would like to know?" Not waiting for him to answer, I turned to Lily. "Thanks for helping."

She gave me a shaky smile, I could tell she was afraid that they would, rather James would, start asking questions to which she had no answers. Lucky for us, I was a born liar.

James and Remus didn't know what to make of Sirius and my behavior, Peter announced that he was tired and went to bed. James sat by Lily and watched her as she finished her homework and Remus asked me if I need any help. But I didn't, so he said he was going to bed too. Sirius just sat at the table I was working at, alternately staring at me and somewhere in space. After Lily was done, James asked her if she wanted to take a walk on the grounds, after slight hesitation Lily agreed. Happily, James whisked her off.

I continued to write my essay, and to break the weird silence, I turned on my iPod which was connected to a pair of portable speakers.

_We have_

_The chance to turn pages over_

_We can write what we want to write_

_We gotta make ends meet before we get much older _

You're the voice. I loved that song. John Farnham sang it so well.

_You're the voice try and understand it_

_Make a noise and make it clear_

_Whoa oh oh_

_We're not gonna live in silence_

_We're not gonna live in fear_

_Whoa oh oh_

As I worked on, I sang along. Now I admit I'm no Amy Lee; but I didn't have a terrible voice neither did I sing off key. In fact it was a pleasant sort of voice.

So that's how the night advanced, I kept working on my defense essay. Once I was done with it, I finished my potions essay. Soon, in an hour and a half, with the help of the music and my stellar ignoring skills I finished my homework. All this while, he sat opposite me, looking at me, following each and every movement of mine with his eyes. He hadn't said a word, something that really unnerved me. After I had packed everything into my bag, I finally couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, slung the strap of my backpack over one shoulder and stooped down to disconnect my iPod and speakers when he reached over and grabbed my hands.

"You listen to good music." He said softly.

I didn't say anything. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? One of the things that made me most uncomfortable around him was the fact that I knew where everyone in my life stood. I knew just how important Lily, my grandmothers, Remus, James were to me. I knew that I was completely indifferent to Peter; that I hated Angelica even… but I didn't know what Sirius Black meant to me. One moment I was annoyed at him, the other time I didn't care what he thought of him. When I thought about Halloween, a week ago and the way he was looking at me, as if he was trying to figure me out, it was so… idon'tevenknow! I remember that night when I would stay up at night hating him for breaking Mandy's, remembering every other girl who got her heartbroken by him, but I also remembered the way he actually was with them, so gentle, so attentive. That couldn't be an act. He was unbelievably smart, intelligent, but I don't remember ever seeing him study. His pure-blood upbringing guaranteed his gentlemanlike behavior, but he wasn't anything like one. He knew about muggle music, he even wore converse. He was brought up by one of the foremost anti muggle families but still here he was, in Gryffindor, friends with muggles and 'blood traitors'. While he gave muggles a chance, he never gave Slytherin a chance… he hated them all. He could seem unassuming and arrogant at the same time. Sirius Black was just so confusing, infuriating.

"Lexie?" He made it sound like a question. I pulled my hands away and stood up.

"What do you want from me?" I asked him. I needed a straight answer.

"I don't know." He answered simply.

I sighed, even I didn't know. We could sit and not know together.

I sat back down, facing him, not saying anything. The music continued to play. A song ended and the opening bars of Starlight by Muse started to play.

"I can picture you singing this song." I told him softly.

"How come?" Interest was laced in his words.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I guess it's the fact that this song is called starlight and you're named after a star. Or the fact that I can totally imagine you being self destructive."

"No offence." I added shortly. And I honestly didn't mean any offence.

"Self destructive?" Was all he asked.

"Well you know. Okay maybe self destructive isn't really the right word. Honestly, I don't know, but really the song does remind me of you."

We didn't say anything after that, just sat and listened to the song in comfortable silence.

As the song ended he said, "You know I found the song for you."

"That's what you've been thinking about all this while?" I asked incredulously. "A song for me?"

"Yes." He said as if it was the most obvious thing on this planet.

"Well." I demanded. "Which one?"

He turned the iPod to face him and started to look through it. While he was searching for the song, I got up and walked towards the window and sat down on the window seat and looked up at the night sky with it's million and more stars.

Just at that moment a soft, soothing voice filled the room.

_She get up_

_And pours herself a strong one_

_And stares out at the stars up in the sky_

I looked away from the window and at Sirius. He was looking at me.

_Another night it's going to be a long on_

_She draws the shades and hangs her and starts to cry _

_She wonders how it ever got this crazy_

_She thinks about the boy she knew in school_

_Did she get tired or did she just get lazy_

_She's so far gone she feels just like a fool._

"Lying eyes." I stated.

He got up, placed his hands in his pockets and walked towards me languidly.

He stopped when he reached the window and took a seat next to me, our backs resting against the wall. "There's just something about your eyes, something hidden in them… something you don't tell anyone about." His mouth was hovering near my ear, his breath hot fanning across my ear. My stomach tightened and I swallowed hard. "You were lying back there. Peter might have bought it, but I haven't."

"I don't know what you are talking about." I whispered, not moving my head, my eyes focused on the opposite wall.

"Or maybe I'm just imagining things, wanting something to be where there isn't." He hadn't moved either.

"That's plausible." I was thankful that my voice didn't crack.

"Uh huh." He muttered and then he kissed my ear.

That's when I jerked up, brushed past him and walked towards the table and turned off my iPod.

"You know," I said in this slightly high pitched, nervous voice, "it's getting late. I should go to bed now." I grabbed my stuff and held it close to my chest. "I'll see you around, Black."

Without a look back, I all but ran up to my dorm. But even after half an hour, my heart was still pounding, my stomach was still performing summersaults and the spot where he kissed me on my ear was still tingling.


	6. Chapter six

Chapter 12:

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing other than my original characters and plotline.

When I woke up the next morning I was strangely happy. I'm never happy when I wake up because I hate waking up. But today… it was like I was looking forward to the day. Confused I got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, waking up last surely has it advantages. By the time I was out of the bathroom, dressed for the day in a pair of navy blue jeans and a green and blue checked shirt, all three of the girls were sitting on my bed, each with her right leg crossed over her left and her left hand resting on the right knee with the right resting on the top of the left. It was kind of scary, looking at the sitting similarly with identical mischievous grins on their faces. Uh oh.

"Er, mornin'." I greeted uneasily. I walked to the foot of my bed and pulled on my converse sneakers.

"Lexie, love, how was your night?" Lily asked her voice pleasantly nonchalant.

I stood up slowly from the foot of my bed and turned to face them. "It was pleasant enough, Lily."

"Would you say that you had a very good night? Did you sleep well?" Alice's smile was blinding.

"Yes, I did. I haven't slept better before." And I hadn't.

"And nothing happened before you fell asleep that would, could, might put a damper on your mood?" Mandy chirped.

Shit, they couldn't know, could they?

"Where are you going with this?" I asked suspiciously. Why would they care what kind of a mood I was in. That's when I saw them exchange this look. Oh boy, did I know that look well enough. Thankfully my coat along with my scarf and gloves was on the floor near my foot. In a swift motion I grabbed them and ran out of the dorm, yelling over my shoulder, "I'd rather die than go shopping with you guys."

I heard Lily scream in frustration and a couple of seconds later I heard the door slam behind me and footsteps thundered down the stairs behind me.

"Alexandria Perry stop running this instant." Like I was going to listen to you Alice.

Even though I ran everyday, despite the fact that I was a good runner, Lily had four inches on me and she had been on the track team at her old school. I had barely made it into the common room myself when she followed in after me. Thankfully it was empty, God bless the Gryffindors and their need for breakfast. I ran for the couch and using it as a barrier between Satan's spawn and me.

We just stood, facing each other trying to catch our breaths. By then Alice and Mandy had come down as well and they were standing in a corner, amused no doubt.

Lily and I were staring at each other, trying to see who would crack first. Just then the boys came down as well. "Morning ladies." James greeted us. Lily turned to look at him and I took it as my opening. I turned to run towards the main entrance but she anticipated the move, "James block the entrance." And he obeyed her, without a single question. What the fuck?

I pointed a finger at her, "It's not going to happen, Lily. I'm not doing it." I told her in an even voice.

"Come on Alex, don't be stubborn. It's just for a couple of hours." She cajoled me.

"Nu-uh. Not happening. Not now, not ever." I replied stubbornly.

"Oh come on Alex. It'll be over you know it." Alice said in a tone that I suppose she thought to be comforting.

I laughed sarcastically, "Like hell it will. Last time I had to spend over a fifty galleons on crap that I haven't touched ever since it was bought. I'm never going shopping you with guys." "Never." I repeated, knowing that I had to be firm on this or I would end up losing lots of money again.

James laughed from his position near the entrance, "That's what this is all about?"

"Oh yeah that rich coming for you, you Little Ms. Lily's lap dog. Shut up and guard." I snapped. Looking at Lily I continued, "I don't need anything, not jeans or shirts or socks or shoes, underwear… nothing. I'm good till the next blue moon."

"Come on, it'll be fun. I promise." She whined.

I snorted. "Like hell. What's fun about standing around watching someone else put on clothes that she's not even going to buy?"

"Well we're all going to spend the day together. Shopping. Remus is sick. Who are you going to spend the day with?" So now she was going to play dirty.

I opened my mouth to say something and then I closed it. "Also, the winter formal is coming up and you need a dress. I don't think Levis is all the formal, not even dark ones."

I had an answer for that one. "I'm not going to the dance. Just like last year and the year before that." I stuck out my tongue at her.

She flipped me the bird. "Come on Alex, come for the dance this year. It'll be a lot of fun. You get asked every year and you turn the poor guy down and sit in the Room of Requirement watching television all day. Frankly that's quite sad."

"Well I think it's sad that you have to get two other girls in to ambush me into coming shopping with you."

"So you're going to spend the day all by yourself?" She knew she had me there. As much as I loved solitude, it was pretty sad spending an entire day in a village like Hogsmeade all alone.

I looked at James and asked him, "What are you doing all day?"

"Oh sure now play nice. Sorry but I'm supposed to shut up and guard." He grumbled.

"Oh come on." He didn't say anything. "I'm sorry?" I asked.

"He's coming with me. And Frank is coming along as well. Fabian and Gideon are in detention and the rest of your team is occupied as well."

"You checked?!" I yelled.

She just smiled smugly. Boy, she really wanted me to shop.

"I'm not doing anything." A strong, velvety voice called. And my heart sped up.

I turned to look at him, "What?"

He shrugged, "Well, everyone I could spend the day with is busy too."

That's when I remembered that he had kissed me on my ear last night. Had anyone ever told me that someone, let alone Sirius Black would kiss me on the ear and that I would enjoy it, I would have laughed till I wet my pants. But it had happened and I had liked it. Jesus, what was I going to do?

I looked at him and then at Lily, who looked confident that I wouldn't go with Black. Talk about being between rock and hard place. I narrowed my eyes and her and still glaring at her I said, "Fine."

Lily looked like Christmas had been cancelled, "What?"

I looked at Black, "I'd love to spend the day with you."

"So what are you guys going to do today?" Lily asked is this angry sort of voice after everyone else was done with breakfast. We were walking out of the Hall, on our way out to where the carriages were waiting to take us to Hogsmeade.

Yeah what were we going to do? I didn't answer cause I didn't know and I don't know why Sirius didn't answer. After I had told him I would love to spend the day with him, not like, not enjoy but love, he had nodded and we all had made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast. He had chosen a seat on one side of the table and I chose a seat in the opposite direction. We hadn't exchanged a word all breakfast.

Sirius walked up to Filch who was standing with the usual list and got our names checked and walked back, "You ready?" He asked as he put his hand on the small of my back.

"Sure." I replied.

"Okay then, let's go." He said and applied pressure on my back, steering me away from the group.

"Aren't you guys riding the carriage?" Frank asked.

"Nah, we're walking to Hogsmeade." He answered, "If that's okay with you." He asked me.

I shrugged, "Sure." What was with me and monosyllables? A walk. With him. What the hell are we supposed to talk about? Why didn't I think this through? Why did Lily have to smirk, if she hadn't challenged me I would have ended up shopping with them not wondering about what I was going to say and not worrying about my stomach and heart. All the clenching and fast beating couldn't be good for either one of them.

The rest of them got their names ticked off the list by Filch and walked towards the carriages and Sirius started to walk down the path that people who walked to Hogsmeade took. It was a cloudy day. The sky was grey, the sun was low, it looked like it was going to rain. It had been raining all night and the smell still lingered in the air. The fresh, clean smell. I closed my eyes, turned my face to the sky and took a deep breath. I loved that smell. Unconsciously, I smiled.

"What?" He asked softly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, he was a couple of steps ahead, looking at me.

"What what?" I asked.

"I just wanted to know what you were smiling about?"

I shrugged. "Nothing really."

By then I had caught up with him. He took my hand, "Let's take a small detour."

I snatched my hand back, "Woah. Dude we-" I indicated the two of us, "-are so not taking a detour."

He laughed. What was so funny, I didn't get. But apparently there was something hilarious. Because there he was, standing with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, throwing his head back and laughing. Loudly. "What is so damn funny." Annoyed, I kicked him in the shins, "Hey!" That got him to stop.

"Good. Now what was so funny?" I demanded.

"The way your mind jumps to conclusions." He shot back. "There is this place I know. It's really great. Thought you might want to see it. That's all. It's got a beautiful view." He shook his head. " Don't you trust anyone?"

I shrugged, "There aren't many people I can trust."

He took my hand again and held it between both of his, "You could trust me. But that has to be your choice."

"I thought this was about us getting out of shopping. Not me getting over my trust issues." I tried to pull my hand back but he wouldn't let go.

He looked my straight in the eyes, "Do you trust me?"

I didn't say anything. He asked me again, "Right now, in this very moment, do you trust me?"

A single look into his eyes wouldn't have conviced anyone to trust him, but there was something lurking there; something swirling in there along with the grey and black. It was that swirl of emotion that made me nod and whisper, "Yes."

He smiled. A smile that made his eyes crinkle and turned one side of his mouth higher than the other. It was beautiful. "Okay then. Let's go." With the he led me off the path and into the surrounding woods. It wasn't exactly the forest, but it wasn't really on the path either. I don't really know where he took me or what direction we were going in, but we were walking for around fifteen minutes. Most of the climb was uphill, but it wasn't tiring. He helped me to climb over broken logs and such. Soon we were in a clearing. We were, on what looked like, the top of a hill. From where I was standing the sky was neverending. Grey and cloudy. The air was fresh and clean. A slight wind was blowing. You couldn't hear anything, not even the birds. As I walked further, the view took my breath away. You could see the castle. My beautiful school, on top of it's own hill. The Great Lake reflecting the dull sky, the Forbidden Forest just beyond. It was beautiful.

Another gust of wind blew the bangs off my face, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was amazing. Nobody for miles, just me and my thoughts.

And Sirius.

I could feel him standing next to me. I turned to him, "Thank you." I whispered.

He smiled, "I knew you'd like this place."

I flopped down on the grass and lay down, staring at the sky. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. "The only thing missing now is rain."

"You like the rain?" He asked me as he sat down next to me.

"Like?" I asked increduously, "I love the rain."

"I thought you were one of those people who hated the rain because it seemed very gloomy and depressing."

I turned to look at him. He was looking down at me, and shrugged as if to say no offence. I smiled, "I do seem like that kind of a person don't I?"

He nodded.

"Well," I sat up. " I didn't always enjoy the rain. I spent the first eight years of my life in London and god knows it rains there all the time. My dad loved the rain," I smiled as I remembered those days, "When he found out that I didn't enjoy it that much he asked me why I didn't. I told him that I didn't like the grey colour that the sky turned just before it would start to rain. When it did start, it seemed like the sky was crying. As if something bad was going to happen. When he died, I didn't think I would get over it. I didn't know how to exist in a world where my dad didn't. After his death, my grams made me spend that year in Bombay, India. She wanted me to learn about my Indian heritage and get away from all those places that reminded me of my dad. The summer there was terrible. Hot and humid. Dry and dusty. All I could think about was my dad and how I would never be happy again. But then the rain came and washed away all the dust, drove away the heat. You could smell the change in the air, the freshness. It was like a new beginning. Nature was giving me a new chance..." I trailed off. I looked at him, trying to see if he got what I meant.

When he saw me looking at him, he said, "So you don't just talk in monosyllabic sentences."

"Ha ha. Very funny." I looked away, feeling a little embarassed. Here I had told him something about me, talked to him about my dad. And he had just brushed it off.

"Hey, look at me." He said softly. But I just couldn't. "Lexie, please look at me." Something in his voice made me look. "You've convinced me." He said simply.

"Huh, what?" I muttered intelligently.

He laughed, "You've convinced me that the rain isn't something morose and morbid."

"You don't like the rain?" I asked.

"I didn't like the rain." He corrected me. "You changed that."

I smiled, "You know what really changed my mind. Have you heard the song, Your Guardian Angel by The Red jumpsuit Apparatus?"

He shook his head.

"I heard it after my dad died.

_And I know I'll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning grey."_

We stared at the castle, I don't know what he was thinking. His fingers were playing with the grass, his eyes expressionless.

"Don't call me Lexie." I told him abruptly.

"Why not?" He asked.

I sighed.

"It's not because it sounds like a goat or whatever lame excuse you gave, is it?" He asked knowingly.

"My mom used to call me that." I replied shortly. "The name brings back too many old memories. Ones that I don't want to remember."

"Then let's make new ones." He said simply.

I didn't know what to say to that and he didn't say anything else. We were silent for a long time. And it felt okay. More than okay. I was… comfortable. We sat like that, side by side for ten- fifteen minutes, neither of us saying anything. I was surprised at myself, for telling him so much about me, in so little time. But it was like Remus said, the sky didn't fall on me.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him.

He looked at me and smirked. I almost groaned, preparing myself for a cocky answer. "Well, love, I'm a Maurauder. I know everything." And for some reason that didn't piss me off. I laughed, "C'mon seriously. How did you? This place is beautiful."

"I found it with the rest of the Maurauders. We were exploring, back in third year."

Just like Dora, the explorer, I thought. I grinned, imagining Sirius as the girl in a pink t shirt and orange pants who went on imaginary adventures with her monkey. I laughed. He laughed along with me, "What?" He asked.

"You don't know why I'm laughing, still you laugh along and then you ask me why I'm laughing?"

"Yes." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in this world.

"Nothing I just pictured you in a pink t shirt and orange shorts stumbling across this clearing with your pet monkey." And promptly burst out into laughter once again.

"Is this a muggle thing that I'm not going to understand?" He asked me dryly. Already knowing the answer to that one.

I simply nodded.

Soon my laughing melted into occasional giggles. Soon we were silent again.

I looked him, he was staring at the castle, and it seemed like he was deep in thought. Something in his eyes was different, they seemed relaxed, at ease. I felt happy that he was at ease with me. He turned and caught me looking at him. I braced myself for another cocky comment, but he just smiled at me. We were sitting pretty close, unconsciously I raised my right hand and traced the scar on his left eye brow. "How did you get it?"

His smiled, but there was something wrong with this smile. It was bitter, angry even. He looked me straight in the eye, "I got that the Christmas I went back home for the first time after my sorting. Apparently my father wasn't too happy with my being a Gryffindor."

There was a underlying emotion, something hiding behind the bitterness in his eyes. Something I recognized, it was the hurt I felt everytime I thought about my mother. Then I'd remind myself, "Just cause you share the same blood doesn't mean that they're really family." Then I realized what I had said. I looked away, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's not my place too."

He took my chin into his hand and made me meet his eyes. He was smiling, nothing special. It was a sad smile. "It is the truth isn't it."

Before I could say anything, a big fat drop fell on my nose. Another on Sirius' forehead. Followed by many others, too many to count or notice. It had started to rain.

That broke us apart. I looked up, and couldn't help but smile as the rain fell on my face. I felt Sirius drag my up, his voice yelling in my ear, "Are you crazy, Lexie. We have to get under some shelter. It's too cold to be getting wet." But I didn't move. I heard him swear and then I felt like the life was being squeezed for me. It was terrible. It was like I was being squeezed from every direction. And just like that the feeling disappeared. So did the rain. And the peace. I looked around, we were at a pub. Not any pub, the pub in Hogsmeade. We were at the Three Broomsticks. The noise was deafening. Especially after spending a couple of hours in the woods.

"Don't you ever apparate me anywhere without my permission." I yelled at Sirius. I hated apparition. It was the exact opposite of orbing. While orbing your molecules spread out and came together wherever you wanted them too. It was a very liberating feeling. Nothing like the suffocating feeling of apparition. He just laughed, "Well you have to get used to it. You have to learn it sometime."

I shook my head, "Never. I hate it."

He just laughed me off. He took out his wand from his pocket and waved it first at himself and then at me. Just like that, I was dry again. "Nice spell." I grinned. He just smirked and tapped at his temple with his wand. I rolled my eyes, like he'd ever let me forget. He laughed and told me to go find us some seats and headed towards the bar. To flirt with Madam Rosemarta, no doubt. I looked around and noticed Lily and James on one of the tables in the back. I caught Lily's eye, she motioned me to come over. I guess I found us some seats afterall. I made my way towards them. But on the way someone else found me. Someone I really really didn't want to talk to. Not at the moment.

"Perry."

I recognized that voice without even having to look up. "Severus."

"Did I see you come in with Black?" His tone was one of disdain.

I looked up, into his dark eyes to see anger in them. Anger and a deeper look revealed slight hurt. "Does it really matter to you?" I asked, not being rude. I really wanted to know.

But he ignored my question. "So Evans is with Potter now. And you with Black. Got tired of the other one… that dog?" He asked, not really trying to be polite.

Anger flared within me. He was the one who pushed Lily and me away. We kept trying but just for how long were we supposed to? I grabbed him by the front of his robes and pulled him towards me, "You have no right to hate us. You pushed us away. And don't you dare talk about Remus like that." I hissed through my clenched teeth.

Before Severus could reply I was pulled back harshly and suddenly Severus was pinned to the wall behind him. Sirius was in Severus' face, his face contorted with anger. "I never want to see you around her again." He said evenly, his voice laced with anger.

Severus eyes narrowed, "Don't tell me what to do, muggle-loving fool." His hands were trying to get Sirius' off his robes; needless to say it wasn't working.

Sirius pulled back a fist and before I could grab it he had swung it at Severus' face.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I yelled. Behind me, James and Lily had appeared. James pulled Sirius away and Lily was just standing back, her expression torn and sad.

If I had paid attention I would have seen James struggling with Sirius, Remus appearing out of nowhere to help James. I would have seen the rest of them standing behind me, looking at me with disbelief. But I was too busy making sure that Severus' didn't pull out his wand. I touched his nose gently, making sure it wasn't broken and the blood flow wasn't too bad. My hands itched with the want to heal his wound but I knew I couldn't. Severus would never allow it and there were too many witnesses. Besides, I still couldn't heal. He looked at me with anger and disgust, but I didn't care. This boy was the one had convinced Lily to go to Hogwarts in the first place. He was the one who had practiced every night with me in an abandoned class room, making sure that I could perform the charms properly. He was someone who was lost, tired and hurt. He was Severus Snape and he was my friend, whether he liked it or not.

"Let's get you out of here, Captain." I spoke softly, calling him by the name that I hadn't used in years (I had noticed the likeness between his nose and a hook and since I had been reading Peter Pan then I had no choice but to call him by the name of my favourite pirate back then) but everyone behind me heard me and the gentleness in my voice. They saw Severus' eyes skim the crowds and I bet they thought it was to make sure that his Slytherin friends didn't see him leave with a Gryffindor who was a half blood. And they were right, but it wasn't because he was afraid of his reputation. It was because he wanted to protect me. And I was sure of that. After making sure that the coast was clear he looked at me and nodded. I helped him up and we walked out together, leaving the others behind. Them and their disbelief.

--

I entered the common room late that night. I admit it was on purpose, I didn't want to see the rest of them. I was sure that they hated me right now, were really angry with me and I had no intention of getting into another argument today. So when I crawled through the portrait hole, sure that everyone was in the beds fast asleep, you can imagine just what I must have felt when I saw each and everyone of them sitting around the fire on the couches and armchairs. Peter, Frank and Alice were sitting on the rug on the floor. I really had to try very hard not to groan out loud.

After leaving the Three Broomsticks, Severus and I had walked outside the village, found this spot on the banks of a tiny pond and silently sat down side by side. He knew about me. I still don't know why I told him. I really don't. I should be scared because of the company he keeps and what would happen if the word reached Voldemort. I hadn't thought about it then and I wasn't going to lose sleep by thinking about it now. If things came down to that I would deal with it then. Once it had become dark, we had walked back to the castle. He picked up his pace as we neared and soon he was way ahead of me. To an outsider it would have seemed as if we had come by ourselves, something he had been aiming for. And I wasn't offended or hurt. I was just tired and as I had dragged myself up through the castle all I had wanted to do was flop down on my bed and not think about today. Everything that had happened just seemed like it had happened weeks ago.

They all looked in the direction of the portrait hole and when they saw me crawl in, unconsciously they all tensed up. Sirius didn't even look away from the fire. Lily turned around, from her place in the couch and when she saw it was me she got up. I saw James' hand falling from her lap. I just looked at her and walked towards the direction of the dormitory. "Alex." Her soft but strong voice called out to me. I tensed before I turned around. I hadn't thought about what Lily would have felt when I had left with Severus. But now, the guilt had finally caught up with me. He had hurt her really badly. And now, so had I. There was no way she would understand this. I had tried to explain to her how Severus was pushing us away for our own good. That he didn't really care that he was muggle… she had told me that she just couldn't keep fighting for something that he didn't want. She was tired of feeling not wanted. So I didn't push it.

I forced myself to look in her eyes, my defenses up. As she walked towards me she said in that same voice that she had called out to me in, "Wait for me." Wait for me. Just three words and my heart felt like the lightest thing on this planet. I smiled and nodded, the gratitude shining my eyes hopefully. She smiled back. I heard somebody swear in the background, "Damn it." James stood up and shoved his hands inside the pockets of his pants and walked towards the fireplace, staring at the mantelpiece. Shaking his head, he turned towards Lily and me. "Just what is the matter with you? How can you still be so calm about this?" While his first question was directed to the both of us, there was no doubt that the second one was for Lily alone. "Don't you remember what he said to you the last time you spoke? How can you let he act like this towards him after everything?" I had never seen James so agitated before.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't speak about me as if I weren't here." I spoke just as Lily said, "I trust her."

Lily went to speak some more but I stopped her. "He is a friend. I know you can't understand why and I don't expect you too. But he is a friend and he needed my help. That's all." I looked at the back of Sirius' head, the tensing of his shoulders let me know that he knew that I was looking at him, "I didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. And I don't want to pick sides. I get it that you don't like him, but I trust him and he is a friend." I repeated. "You don't have to accept that but you just have to trust me."

With that I looked around at everyone. Mandy nodded at me and bounded towards me and hugged me, "If Lily is okay with it then so am I." She said as he did.

I smiled and awkwardly returned the hug.

Over Mandy's shoulder, I saw Alice smiling at me.

Frank nodded and then shrugged his shoulders, frank-speak for all is okay.

Remus too walked up to me and kissed my fore head, "He is lucky to have a friend like you."

James had his back turned towards me so I walked around him and put my arms around him. He stiffened below my touch. But he didn't pull away. "Please James. Don't be this way." He wriggled out my grasp. I tried to hide my hurt by looking at the ground but then he pulled me into his arms, "Can't hug you back when you're holding me like that." And then he whispered softly, "Talk to him. He hasn't said a word."

I nodded as I pulled away. Everyone went up to bed, leaving the two of us alone. I walked up to him and kneeled down in front of him.

He still had to look away from the fire.

I took his right hand by my hands, my thumbs running softly over his bruised knuckles. He pulled his hand back. And I wrenched it right back. And struggled with him to keep it in within mine. He gave in and I smirked in triumph. Holding his hand firmly with my right, I took out a vial from my pocket and rubbed a bit of the salve from it on his knuckles. I knew it would soothe those angry looking bruise, "Don't wash it off. The bruises will be gone by tomorrow." He looked me, deep into my eyes. It was unnerving but I didn't want to look away. I wanted to reach up, grab his face and kiss him. I really wanted to kiss him. After all, he had attacked Severus on my behalf.

"You're angry and I don't blame you. Just try to look at it from my perspective- Say you have a friend, one that would appear really bad to everyone else. But you know it's not his fault ultimately, that there is good in him that's worth fighting for. Would you still walk away?"


	7. Chapter seven

Chapter 7:

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.

I woke up the next morning a little afraid. I thought the girls had changed their minds and decided to remain angry with me, but I realized I was mistaken when Alice said, "So when are we going shopping for the dresses girls?"

I groaned. "Come on guys. The dance which I don't want to go for, by the way, is over two weeks away."

"You aren't going for the dance with Sirius." Mandy asked me.

"Well we spent a couple of hours together. After which I left with his worst enemy and he still has to speak to me after that." I pointed out dryly.

"I just assumed when you came up later that you guys had patched things over." She reasoned.

"You know what they say about assuming… It makes an ass out of you and me."

"What really happened?" Lily added.

I told them exactly what had happened. I was sitting on my bed, looking out the window as I spoke. When I turned to look at them after I was done they were looking at me as if I had stripped off my clothes and was dancing to Buttons by Pussycat Dolls on my bed.

"What?" I asked. Seriously who does everyone keep looking at me as if I have sprouted another head or something.

"Do you like him?" Mandy asked me.

"What?" I yelled. "No, I don't."

"Rubbish." Alice countered me.

"I really don't. He's arrogant and egoistic and thinks he can get away with anything. And I sure as hell don't like him. Now can we get back to the topic at hand?"

"Sure." Lily said, her eyes twinkling.

"I really don't like him." I insisted.

"I didn't say you did. Anyway you're going to go shopping with us. You're going to buy a dress and you are going to come for this dance with us this year. You hear?" Lily asked me sternly.

I groaned. I placed my hands on my hips. "I don't want to go."

But the others just smiled that saintly smile, knowing it was all talk and nothing else.

"We'll go. You'll come too." Lily started. "But…" She held up a hand when I started to interrupt. "You can go first. Pick a dress. Try it, and if you like it, buy it. If not, you can leave and we won't stop you. Just two hours. We'll be done by twelve twelve-thirty. Just come on, Allie. I have gone for countless dances without you. And this year I'm going with someone I love and I want my best friend there. Please."

I sighed. "Fine."

And with that we went down for breakfast.

--

We entered the only formal clothing store in Hogsmeade called Zara, owned by a woman called Madame Zara. Everyone walked off in different directions, looking for dresses. And I decided that I would be as enthused about this as I could get. As I browsed through a stack of grey coloured dresses I couldn't help but think of last night and Sirius. After I asked him if he would be able to walk away from a friend in need, something that I didn't get a reply to, I had given up and gone to bed. And I hadn't slept well cause all I could think of was him.

It was only because he seemed so different from what I had thought of him. He and I were quite similar. In what ways I couldn't really think of at that moment. Most people at our school loved Lily, just like they loved James. And as their best friends, people had certain thoughts as to how we were supposed to be. We were the exact opposite. We were quiet and guarded to a point where we were rude. It wasn't because we wanted to be like that, it's just how we were. And Sirius seemed to enjoy solitude just as much as I did. But he had the kind of confidence I could only hope to have. He knew what he was doing, what he believed was correct and he never changed that. Not when seventh year Lucius Malfoy and his own cousin Bellatrix Black-Lestrange attacked him in my second year. He had fought back, but it was useless. A third year against two seventh years was hopeless. But he had stood up to them. Proud, defiant. A true Gryffindor. I questioned myself time and again. Hidden in cocoon of denial, from everyone around me. I was only starting to get out, and it was still scary as hell. I was drawn to him partly because he was what I wanted to be. I wanted to know him, know why he was the way he was. And how he got there.

As I was thinking this, I had proceeded to another rack of dresses when I came across a dark blue chiffon dress. The colour was absolutely gorgeous and the material was heavenly. I had to try in on. So I made sure I had the right size then took it off the rack. The others joined me as well, having found their own dresses. While I was in the changing room, I heard the door bell tinkle, indicating that more people had entered the shop.

I pulled the dress on and pulled up the zipper that was on the side. I turned to look in the mirror and I must say I loved the dress. It was sleeveless and had a wide deep v-neck, till the middle of my sternum. The part of the dress that covered my abdomen was tight, hugging the curve of my waist and then it flowed down to my calves. The back of the dress was just as the deep as the front. The dress made my neck seem longer, my collar bone delicate, my waist tiny and my boobs bigger. There was something really magical about it. And I simply loved it. I opened the stall door and walked out barefoot and saw that the others were out too. Mandy was closest to the exit, with Alice next to her. I was next to Alice and Lily was next to me. Lily was wearing a golden sheath dress that reached her calves, and was positively glowing. Alice was in a black spaghetti strapped dressed that ended right above her knees. Mandy was in a light pink strapless flowing gown that complimented her strawberry blonde hair perfectly.

We had found our dresses.

We were just standing in front of the mirror and admiring the dresses when a familiar song started to play out the speakers. We grinned at each other,

"_I'm in like with you,"_ Mandy sang.

"_Not in love with you quite yet,"_ Alice sang the next line.

"_My heart's beginning to slightly overrule my head,"_ I was next.

"_Oh no _

_Oh no_

_My self control it won't hold up for very long,"_ Lily sang, her body swaying with the music.

"_Oh no_

_Oh no_

_You touched my soul_

_I can't help falling too fast for you_.

_Can you hold on a bit_

_Stop before we go,"_ We all sang together, dancing in changing area outside our cubicles in the fancy dresses.

"_Cause I might need a moment_

_And I wouldn't want to spoil it," _I pretended that I was holding a mike with my right hand, my left hand raised above my body, playing with my hair and my shoulders and hips swaying to the music.

"_Who knows," _We all but screamed.

"_If I am _

_Ready or not," _Lily sang, as she grabbed my hands and together we danced in a circle. Mandy and Alice were dancing with each other.

"_Only time will tell_

_Who knows if we are_

_Ready to make this something,"_ Alice sang, her eyes closed, her head swinging from side to side.

"_Who knows_

_Maybe this is love _

_But I haven't fallen in quite yet_

_Oh no _

_Oh no_

_My self control it won't hold up for very long_

_Oh no_

_Oh no_

_You touched my soul_

_I can't help falling too fast for you,"_ We exchanged partners, losing ourselves, singing and dancing. Having a moment with each other. Eyes closed, fingers snapping, hips moving in time to the music. Who cared if we weren't singing all that well? We were having fun and that was all that mattered.

"_Can you hold on a bit_

_Stop before we go_

_Cause I might need a moment_

_And I wouldn't want to spoil it, _aah!" I had somehow ended up in Mandy's position near the entrance of the changing area. I was singing the loudest, the others dancing more than singing. I had been dancing with my back to the entrance. As I turned around I saw four pairs of amused eyes staring at us. I yelled pretty loudly, which made the others stop, and stopped dancing. The sudden change in momentum threw me off and tripped over my own feet. I was going to fall backwards, which was going to be really painful. I clenched my eyes shut and stiffened, knowing fully that I couldn't orb. I stopped falling, but the pain didn't come. I opened one eye and saw pair of highly amused grey eyes. I opened my other eye and the view didn't change.

He caught me.

He actually caught me. The fact that he was amused didn't seem to put a damper on it because not only did he catch me but I could feel him. Not like that! He had me pressed to him so I could feel his strong body, his warm hands were on my bare back and his mouth was quirked, betraying just how amused he was. Thankful, I closed my eyes, "Shit."

"I'm sorry, love. Would you rather be on the cold, hard floor?" Even his voice sounded amused. I opened my eyes, "It was a thankful 'shit'." I whispered.

"Really now?" He raised an eye brow.

"Yes, really." I'mnotgoingtoblush. I'mnotgoingtoblush.

"Good to know." And he pulled me up, but didn't let go, which was a good thing because my legs were shaky, the blood was rushing to my brain. I could feel a lot of excitement, nervousness and lust (not that it surprised me. I mean come on; I was in a room full of teenagers, most of whom had feelings for each other. They might not say anything about it, or even act on it, but that doesn't mean that they didn't feel it.) I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to control myself, the feelings that were radiating of Frank especially, were just too much to handle. I wish he would tell Alice what he felt and fast.

Once I was sure that I could stand on my feet, I stepped back, leaning against the wall and cleared my throat. I hated weird silences. "So yeah…" I trailed off.

"How long have you been standing here?" Alice asked looking at Frank, who looked slightly dazed.

"Long enough." James answered. He looked at Lily and smiled, his eyes lighting up, "I love the dress."

She smiled back and nodded, "Me too."

Frank whistled. Everyone looked at him, so he shrugged. "What? That was something. Four beautiful girls singing and dancing like that. You can't expect me not to whistle."

Remus chuckled and nodded; James grinned and Sirius still had that amused look in his eyes, lips quirked. The girls shook their heads, I just slid down the wall and sat down, trying the catch my breath. I don't think anyone missed Alice's blush at Frank's 'beautiful girls' statement.

Mandy, Alice and Lily got into the cubicles to change, no doubt. They got out, back in their regular outfits, their dresses thrown over their arms. Mandy and Alice left, Remus and Frank following them. Lily looked at me, still sitting on the floor, "You going to get it?"

I shrugged, "Don't know yet."

"It looks good."

"I guess."

"You going to get out of it?"

"Give me a minute." And I did need one. Yesterday he was pissed off with me to the extent where he didn't speak to me at all. Today he's amused by me, catching me before I fall and most importantly he is talking to me. He called me 'love'! Breathe, Alex, breathe. "You go ring up yours. I'll be out in a few."

She left with James. I rested my head on the wall and closed my eyes.

I felt someone sit down next to me. Oh, I wonder who it is.

"You should buy it." He said, his deep voice washing over me.

"It's pointless. I don't want to go for the dance." I sighed.

"Well it's not because you're embarrassed of dancing 'cause you dance really well."

I laughed, shaking my head, "If you say so."

And just like that things were quiet again. It was only a few moments before things would turn awkward. So I moved to get up when he rested his hand on my thigh. "About yesterday." He started.

"Sirius, I-" He cut me off before I could say anything else.

"You were right. If I had a friend like that I would do everything in my power to keep him from falling apart." I looked at him in surprise knowing just what a big deal it was for him to admit to something like this. Especially about Severus. "But I still don't like him."

I grinned, "You don't have to."

His eyes grew dark, but it wasn't because of anger. "But I like you." He said.

Predictably, my stomach tightened and my palms started to sweat.

He brought up one hand to cup my cheek, "Go to the dance with me."

I closed my mouth, how and when it opened I don't know and swallowed. Abruptly, I stood up, "I should get out of this dress. Excuse me."

I entered the changing room and when I turned around to shut the door I realized I couldn't cause he was standing in the doorway. Not trusting myself to say anything, I placed my palm on his chest to push him away but he used that hand to pull me towards him. And before I could say or do anything he covered my mouth with his own. He was kissing me. Kissing. Me. His arms went around me, pulling me closer, his mouth moving against mine. I was frozen, but Jesus! His kiss was maddening. I'd have to be a stone statue to not be affected. I lifted my arms and linked them behind his neck. His arms around me tightened. I stood up on the tips of my toes and kissed him back, running my fingers through his long hair. He groaned. His mouth was hot and demanding as it moved with mine. I felt him nip my lower lip and then soothe it by running his tongue across its length. Barely suppressing a moan, I opened my mouth. Jesus, Sirius Black was some kisser. That's when I finally registered the fact that I was kissing Sirius Black. Sirius Black. I immediately pulled away, though a part of my brain and the rest of my body protested.

My arms were still linked behind his neck and his were snug around my waist. We were both breathing heavily, our chests heaving together. I licked my lips and tasted peppermint. I dropped my hands and tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. I placed my hands on his chest and tried to push him away but he didn't even budge.

"Let me go." I said, feeling really weak for some reason.

"Not until you give me an answer." He said firmly.

"You didn't ask a question." I retorted.

He rolled his eyes, "You're a smart one, aren't you?"

"I'd like to think so, yes." It was so difficult to answer, especially when he was so damn close to me and when his freaking fingers were drawing circles on my bare back.

He chuckled. I could feel it coming from deep within his chest.

"Fine. A guy must do what a guy's got to do." He smirked. "Will you go to the winter dance with me?" He was looking deep into my eyes, but I looked away and said, "No."

It was impossible, but his arms on my waist tightened, pulling me even closer. "Why not?" His face was inches from my own, his peppermint breath cool on my tingling lips.

"Because I don't want to." I struggled, "Now let me go before someone walks in here."

"I like you." He repeated and the weakness returned.

"Well I don't like you so let me go."

"Really now," He said in the arrogant tone that grated on my nerves, "because something else tells me otherwise."

I raised my chin, "What does?"

"This." He smirked and then kissed me again. This time it was a slow kiss, like he had all the time in the world and all he wanted to do was kiss me. I could feel him everywhere. His hands on my waist, mouth on my own, chest against mine. I was seeing red beneath my eyelids. I tried hard, really hard but in the end I had to kiss him back. I just couldn't not. That's when he pulled back.

He didn't say anything. He didn't need too. His smirk said it all.

I rolled my eyes. "Just because I kissed you back doesn't mean I like you. It just means you're a good kisser."

"Good then. Take advantage of my stellar kissing skills." He said shamelessly.

I raised an eyebrow, "Don't confuse me with Goldberg." I said coldly.

I dipped his head closer, "I would never mistake you for Angelica." He said in his smooth, deep voice. Just listening to it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Come on," he urged, "Go to the dance with me. And lunch after that… maybe even dinner." His lips brushed against mine at every word he spoke.

"Are you asking me out?" I asked incredulously.

"Have you been listening to me?" He asked me in return.

"But I thought this was just for the dance… You want to date me? You want us to date?" And just like that I started to laugh.

"We fight all the time." I said.

"So?" He shot back.

"So… one of us would end up dead before the date was over." I told him dryly.

"I highly doubt that." He said seriously. They way he was looking at me, I knew he was being serious. About everything. But I couldn't date him. He was Sirius Black. An intelligent, talented, gorgeous guy. And if I went out with him I would fall for him no doubt. Then he would break my heart. And then what? I had seen Mandy after the break up… several other girls crying in bathroom stalls. I wasn't about to become one of them.

I met his eyes squarely, "I'm not going to end up like one of your groupies."

"I wouldn't do that to you." He was just as serious.

"I bet you told that to each and every one of them." I shot back.

I didn't need that look in his eyes to know that he hadn't. I knew Sirius dated quite a few girls… but the rest were just rumours spread by girls with nothing else to do. But what about his history with Goldberg. Also I would have to tell him about my Wicca stuff… and I didn't want to. I just didn't want to tell anyone about it. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, I did. More than I should… but it's not anything could be done about it now.

I looked away and sighed, "I can't." I whispered.

His one arm moved from my waist to the back of my neck and pulled me towards him and then he held me there. One hand running up and down my back, "It's just a date. Hopefully, by the end of the evening, I will have gotten so tired of your smart ass mouth and your grumpy attitude that I'll never want to kiss you again."

I pulled back and socked his arm, "I do not have a smart ass mouth and a grumpy attitude you jerk."

His eyes crinkled dangerously, "Prove it."

"What?"

"Go out with me and prove that you aren't just someone with a smart ass mouth and a grumpy attitude." He challenged me. Fuck. I couldn't back away now.

"Fine. I'll go to that damn dance with you. And for the record I don't want to kiss you ever again, you aren't that good of a kisser anyway." I waited for lightening to strike me for that whopper.

"Oh we both know I'm a great kisser." That damn smirk, I wanted to slap it off his face.

He let me go, only after kissing me on the forehead.

I slammed the door and locked it shut. But that didn't block out his hearty chuckle. Neither did it stop my heart from skipping a beat when I heard it.

"Bastard." I called out. But as usual, he didn't reply.

**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoyed it. Please do read and review. Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed before.


	8. Chapter eight

Chapter 8:

**Disclaimer:** Same as before.

Enjoy.

"So who's the lucky guy who asked you to the dance and wasn't turned down?" Lily asked me the next morning.

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"There's a fourth dress hanging in there." She pointed at the common closet we all shared, "quite like the one you tried out yesterday and neither one of us bought an extra dress."

"Yes. So who is the guy?" Alice pressed.

Fuck. That's the one question I didn't want to answer. How was I supposed to tell me best friend that I'm going out with the one guy I completely despise. How am I supposed to tell Mandy that I'm going out with her ex. How am I supposed to tell these girls that I'm going out with Sirius Black! Argh.

"Oh, it's just some guy." I said, staring at the carpet on the floor, and to my horror, I blushed.

Alice whistled, "Some guy? Some guy's got you blushing like this. Tosh, what's his name?"

Rolling my eyes, I decided to get it over with. "Sirius." I mumbled.

Nobody said anything, nobody moved. They just stared. And stared some more. Then Lily managed to ask, "Black?"

That got me rolling my eyes, "No. That other Sirius you know nothing about. Of course Sirius Black."

Then I looked at Mandy and said, "Mandy I'm so sorry. I really don't want to go for the dance with him. But he called me a smart ass and grumpy. I just had to, you know. Oh man, I'm sorry." I babbled.

I was really afraid how she'd react to the news. To my surprise she started to laugh. "Are you joking? I have come to terms with the fact that we weren't meant to be. I never thought you'd date him. You were never affected by him." Yeah, the clenching stomach is so just something wrong that I ate. And if I wasn't so affected I wouldn't have agreed to go out with him would I? "Just watch out for his kisses. They're mind blowing."

"You're telling me." I mumbled.

Again. Silence. And staring.

Then Lily commanded, "The story. Now."

So I told them. Everything. "I hate him. I couldn't say no. Not after what he said about my smart ass mouth and grumpy attitude. Bastard." I seethed. "But there's just something there you know. He just… every time I think about him and how we've just have two conversations both which ended up as arguments… the only thing that explains… you know that Switchfoot song-On Fire. There is this one line that explains what I feel- _Yet everything inside you knows there's more than what you've heard_

_There's so much more than empty conversations filled with empty words."_ I sounded like such a fool to myself.

"_And you're on fire when he's near you_

_You're on fire when he speaks_

_You're on fire burning up in these mysteries." _Alice completed, looking at me.

I looked down, blushing.

"I knew this would happen. Rather I hoped. This is amazing." Lily exclaimed.

"So you're not mad?" I asked.

"About what?"

"That I didn't tell you before. Or that I'm going out with a guy who I've only said bad things about since forever."

"I know what a big deal this is for you. To admit it to yourself, let alone to me. I didn't tell you what I felt about James till I went out with him. And sweety, if you've changed your mind about something, why would that anger me. Good for you."

"Hold it right there. There are no feelings here whatsoever. Least not like the ones you have for James. The only reason I agreed to go out with him is so that I can prove him wrong about my sm-" But Alice interrupted me, "Smart ass mouth and grumpy attitude. Yes we know." And rolled her eyes.

So then after having everything out in the open, I grabbed my uniform and got dressed.  
Once I was out of the bathroom the girls forced me to apply gloss and dry my hair magically and apply darker kohl than usual. I didn't look much different that usual me, but there were sublte changes. My hair was straighter than usual, each piece falling in it's rightful place. My bangs fell into my eyes that looked bluer than usual cause of the dark kohl. When I complained about the gloss and how my hair could stick to it Lily said, "Tough. You're just going to have to deal with it."

"You look great, Alex." Mandy smiled at me.

"Go get 'em tiger." Alice winked at me.

Lily. Lily just looked at me with this look in her eyes that I didn't understand. She looked… proud. She just smiled and nodded at me. I nodded back and took another deep one.

--

Before pushing open the door to the Great Hall I turned towards the girls. I needed to say something, especially to Mandy and Alice. "Look. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. And I sure as hell am not the nicest. But really you guys are great. I'm not just saying this because of today. I've just… I'm more of a glass half empty person. But.. all I'm saying is thank you. For everything." And I smiled. They smiled back.

As I pushed the door open and entered the Hall, I muttered, "Let's get this over with."

That got them all laughing. And I laughed with them.

We were still laughing when we reached the boys. Admitted that it wasn't really funny, but this was the first time the four of us, were so comfortable around each other. This was the first time I had completely been a part of them, and it was a big thing. Today, Frank was sitting with the Maurauders, and by the time I could process that I had to sit down, I realized that the girls had arranged themselves in such a way that the only empty seat left for me was the one next to Sirius. Who, by the way, looked great even in the uniform. Angry with myself for not anticipating this move, I grudgingly took my seat.

"What's so funny?" James asked, after he had greeted Lily in his own special 'non verbal' way.

"Oh nothing. Just some empty conversations filled with some empty words." Alice said nonchalantly, winking at me.

And I choked. On my own spit.

And those wicked wicked girls, the ones who I thought were my friends, burst into laughter. The boys were… well they seemed confused with my coughing and their laughing.

Sirius handed me a glass of water as Frank asked, "What is that supposed to mean? Alex are you okay?"

I couldn't answer as I was still coughing, so Mandy answered for me, "Oh she's fine. She's just a little burned?" And then she giggled. She actually giggled.

To which Sirius said, "Burns don't make a person cough like that." just as Remus asked, "By what?"

Lily answered him, "By a mysterious fire."

And the water that I was drinking went down the wrong pipe and came out through my nose. Thank god it wasn't coffee.

Peter, the ever so observant one told me, "Alex, there's water dripping from your nose."

"Gee, you don't say." I snapped. But the effect was kind of ruined as I was dabbing my face with my napkin. This is why you don't tell people things. They hold it against you for the rest of your life and never let you forget it.

"I'm confused. What is going on here?" James asked, finally annoyed by how the girls were laughing about something he didn't quite get.

"You really don't want to know." I answered him, after having recovered from my two consecutive fits.

"Actually I really do." James was adamant.

"And so do I." Added Sirius. Something in his voice told me he already had an inkling. That bastard.

"No you really don't." I told them, nicely. "Remus, can you please pass me the coffee."

"Is that all you're having." Remus finally asked me, indicating my third cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I'm not really hungry today." Truth be told, my stomach was doing summersaults that Olympic gymnasts would be proud off.

Soon the conversation drifted off the something else entirely and I didn't pay attention. I was hyper aware of him sitting next to me, aware of every move he made. I had to force myself to not move away everytime his elbow brushed against me. And then they started talking about the one thing I didn't want to discuss, ever. The dance. James and Lily we're going together. As were Frank and Alice. Remus and Mandy we're going as friends. And Peter was going with a Ravenclaw girl.

"So Lex, you going to be in the Room on Requirements this year as well?" James asked me playfully.

And I turned red.

"Actually she's going to be accompanying me this year." He said in the arrogant tone of his, as he slipped his arm around me and pulled me towards him.

James burst out laughing and Remus raised an eye brow at us. Furious, I shook off his arm and pulled away. "Get off me." I mumbled. I was too busy trying to not blush.

"You guys are going on a date? Together?" Frank asked in an awed voice.

Unable to answer, I stared at the table cloth and nodded silently. But He. No, He has to make a big deal about it. "As a matter of fact we are." And slipped his arm around me again.

"No wonder you're all dressed up today." Peter accused me.

I cannot belive he just said that, "I am not dressed up. It's just the school uniform." Asshole, I added in my mind.

James squinted at me, as if looking for something, "You do look awfully nice today." And then went back to his eggs. The arm around me tightened, "Of course she wants to look all nice for me." I could just hear the smirk in his voice.

I threw of the arm again, "I am not all dressed up for you. So all of you, shut up."

"I thought Sirius was joking when he told us last night." Remus said, in that quiet voice of his.

"Yeah you're the last person who I thought would date Sirius. How wrong was I?" James laughed.

That's it. I was done listening to all this crap. "You know what!" I threw my napkin at James to get his attention, "The only reason I'm going to the dance with him is to show him that I'm not just a smart mouth with a grumpy attitude. So all of you can just shove it up where the sun don't shine for all I care." And I finished my coffee.

"Hey, calm down. We're all just joking." Frank tried to placate me.

"Well I've had enough of it, so just stop. Please." I pleaded. It wasn't that I didn't like to be teased or anything. It's just I'm aware of what a big thing it is to agree to go out with Sirius. I have never been this attracted to anyone in my entire life. And I'm just really nervous.

Just like that the air changed. And everyone started to talk about other things.

"You could get out of it if you want y'know." His voice a whisper, his breath hot on my ear. I went very still. "Cause I already know that you're not just a smart mouth with a grumpy attitude." My heart missed a beat as he kissed the shell of my ear.

Turning my head in his general direction, I whispered, "Well I have this dress lying in my closet that nearly emptied my savings that will go to waste if I don't. Heck, I even bought new shoes. Wouldn't want it all to be for nothing." He took my chin between his thumb and fore finger and tilted my face to meet his eyes, something that I had been avoiding. Once again, I realized just how good looking he was and what beautiful eyes he had. His eyes roamed my face, "No we wouldn't want it all to be for nothing." And he nodded.


	9. Chapter nine

Chapter 9:

**Disclaimer:** The song All I need is by Mat Kearney.

I nervously smoothed the skirt of my dress as I stood up after adjusting the straps of my three inch heels that Lily made me buy. I must have sighed or something because Lily turned away from the mirror and gave me a reassuring smile. She looked gorgeous. The dress she wore complimented her figure in every way. She had it altered and it now ended just below her knees. It was loose enough that it didn't hug her every curve but you could tell that she had a lithe body. It had a scoop neck, front and back with long sleeves. Since she was tall enough, she decided to go with gold ballet flats. Her normally straight hair was gently curled for the evening. She wore simple make up; just some lipstick, eye shadow and rouge. But her excitement made eyes sparkle brilliantly and her skin glow. Didn't I already mention she looked gorgeous? If only I had her looks…

She must have seen the look I gave her because she smiled and said, "Don't be silly. You look gorgeous."

I just rolled my eyes.

Alice who had been applying her make up in the bathroom came out, "I agree."

She looked just as wonderful. The black dress she had was not the one she had first tried out at the store but it was just as great. It was a really simple, sleeveless dress but she carried it off really well. It had a boat neck with thick straps. And it hugged her from everywhere ending mid thigh. The upper part of her hair was held back by a clip while rest of it flowed down her back in natural waves. So her make was a little more elaborate but she looked great so who cared?

"I think we all look great. The boys are going to be floored." Said Mandy who was sitting on her bed, waiting for everyone to finish just as she had. Her pink strapless gown looked great with her strawberry blonde hair that was tied in a bun at the nape of her neck with tiny curls framing her face. Pearls had been woven into her hair, sparkling brightly as the light reflected off them. Her make up was very light, with an exquisite choker around her neck.

For like the millionth time I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping I looked a tenth of how good the rest of them looked. The dress was the same one that I had tried out that day. My black hair had been pulled back into an elaborate chignon with my bangs falling into my eyes as usual. I had dark eye make up and nude, glossy lips. My eyes looked really blue and my skin was a little pink with excitement. The dress fitted just as well as it had the first time I wore it. I hadn't opted for any jewellery, make up was pushing it. So I had a good body, great dress, blue eyes and shiny hair. And I was three inches taller!

"It's seven, girls. Let's get going." Lily called.

Taking a deep breath, I turned away from the mirror.

"Let's do this." I mumbled, wanting nothing more than to take off that dress and climb into bed. But a huge part of me wanted to see how Sirius was looking tonight and how the evening would turn out.

So with that, I followed the rest of them out. Mandy was in the lead, with Alice then Lily and then me. When we were climbing down the stairs, I whispered something to Lily that I would never have had the circumstances been different, "I'm nervous."

"Don't be." She whispered right back.

I stopped climbing down just waiting for a couple of seconds, to prepare myself. I heard Remus greet Mandy; tell her how beautiful she looked. I peeped and saw Frank hugging Alice and handing her a corsage. I saw James kissing Lily and putting her arm around her waist, wonder and love shinning in his eyes. Right next to James, he was standing. Patiently, I might add, with one hand inside the pocket of his trousers. And he looked just amazing. Black tuxedo with a grey shirt that highlighted his stormy orbs. No tie, no bow-tie, nothing. He looked formal and casual, both at the same time. His hair was the same, falling elegantly into his eyes. His eyes, the brilliant grey, his face, sinfully beautiful. I felt so inadequate, so ordinary.

His gaze shifted and he saw me peeking.

That irresistible mouth of his quirked upwards.

Now that I had been seen I had no other choice but to get out there. So I just slipped out from where I had been standing and observing everyone else and shrugged at him, as if to say, this is it- this is me. To his credit, he didn't seem disappointed. Not at all.

I walked up to where they were all standing.

"Hello, love." He said in the velvety voice of his. I loved it when he called me love.

I smiled shyly and tried to tuck my bangs behind my ears. "Hey." I said softly. God, why was I acting so shy?

He seemed to be amused by it, his mouth quirked higher and his eyes crinkled.

"Merlin, Alex. You look beautiful." James said; his tone genuine.

I turned to face him, "You clean up pretty well yourself." And he did. He looked handsome in his tie and suit, his black hair untamable. But not as good as Sirius.

"She does, doesn't she?" Alice said from Frank's side. "You should have seen her in the dorm, constantly looking in the mirror and sighing. Hasn't eaten anything all day. Not even a single piece of candy." I brought my hand to my forehead, "Alice. I don't think they really wanted to know that." I mumbled, really embarrassed for some reason.

Mandy laughed, "She looked so worried. And I have never seen her worried, not even before our OWLS."

I rolled my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck, "Are you guys done embarrassing me?"

"Don't pay attention to them. But I agree, you look beautiful tonight." Remus said, smiling a little sly smile. He looked exhausted. "Rem, you okay?" I asked him. He nodded, "I'm fine. Didn't much sleep last night, that's all."

"Okay let's go get this over with." I said; my stomach was taut with nervousness.

"Let's. If Alex gets any redder I'm afraid she'll stay that way." Lily laughed. As did the rest of them.

I rubbed my neck once again and started to follow them out when an arm snaked around my waist and pulled me back, flush against a body.

"Wait a moment, love." His voice whispered in my ear.

He turned me around to face him and took out a box from the inner pocket of his jacket.

"I have something for you." As he said that, he opened the box.

I couldn't help but let out a gasp. Inside the box was a lovely delicate silver chain with an oval shaped blue coloured pendant. The best part of the necklace was that the colour of the pendant matched the colour of my eyes perfectly. I brought up a hand to touch it but at the last moment I decided not too, afraid I might do something to mar its perfection.

"Go ahead, love. Touch it." He encouraged me.

But I just couldn't bring myself to touch it. So, after letting out a solitary chuckle, he took the necklace from the box, placed the box aside and turned me around so he could put it on. The chain was long, the pendant rested between my breasts. After he had fastened the clasp, he bent down and kissed the area where my neck and shoulder meet. I couldn't help but lean back into him and he willing encircled his arms around my waist. Even with my heels there was a huge height difference between us, so he could easily rest his chin upon my head.

"It's too much and unnecessary." I said.

He didn't reply.

So I lightly pinched his hand, "Sirius. It's expensive, I can tell. And there is no need for you to give it to me."

"I understood the first time you said it." He said lazily.

"I hate it when you don't respond." I said.

"Hmm." He responded.

I laughed lightly, "Seriously. It's too much. Take it back."

His arms tightened. "No, I didn't spend a knut on it. The chain was my uncle's and the stone is something I found a long time ago. Remus and James helped me attach it to the chain. So be quiet and keep it." He kissed my head and moved back and suddenly I was all cold.

"Come on. I want everyone to see just how beautiful my date is." He stood beside me, an arm around my waist. Together we made our way to the Hall.

--

The Great Hall was decorated beautifully. The heads and prefects had done a great job. The house tables had been pushed to the sides. A stage was put up at the head of the room and the Weird Sisters were belting out their popular songs. Dumbledore had agreed to hire a live band for two hours and the other two hours recorded muggle music would play. The dance floor was the centre of the room with small round tables surrounding it. The seating arrangement was pre-decided. Luckily Lily had convinced James to make sure that all of us would sit together.

The moment Sirius and I had entered the Hall, everyone turned to look at us. Even the teachers. And I had turned a lovely shade of red. Somewhere along the way to the Hall, Sirius' arm had fallen from my waist and grasped my left hand. I noticed Angelica's eyes lingering on our joined hands and interlocked fingers. She had then grabbed her date, Amos Diggory, and proceeded to snog him on the dance floor.

Haha. Score for Alex.

I noticed Lily standing at the punch table, so I started to walk in her direction, pulling Sirius along. On the way, almost everybody greeted Sirius. And he returned their greeting. Many wanted to talk to him about something or the other. So I pulled my hand away from his and whispered, "I'll be there with Lily. Find me when you're done socializing."

"Don't think I didn't notice you holding hands Alex." Was how Lily greeted me.

"It's nice to see you too." I retorted.

"That's some necklace you have there." She lifted it with her fingers, running them along the chain lightly.

"Sirius gave it to me." I whispered.

"James mentioned something about helping Sirius with it."

"You didn't tell me." I accused.

"It was supposed to be a surprise."

"That it was."

Lily smiled at something behind me.

"Miss me?" I had to close my eyes and swallow really hard. He wasn't even touching me, but I could feel the heat that his body was giving off. His breath was hot on my ear. I really hated myself. It wasn't like I had never been with a guy before, but he sure made me feel like this was my first time around a guy I liked. Oh shit, I liked him. Damnit.

"You wish." I replied.

He chuckled and came to stand beside me. "She's a smart one, isn't she." He asked Lily.

"A little too much sometimes." She agreed.

"But I still like her." He continued to talk to her about me as if I wasn't there.

Lily smiled and looked at me before answering, "Me too."

"Okay, flower, everything's set. Let's go dance." James came, finally done with all the last minute adjustments.

Lily let him lead her to the dance floor. "Take care of her Sirius." She said before the crowd swallowed her. Something about the way she said it made it seem as if she wasn't just talking about tonight.

"So love, you ready for some dancing?" He asked me, his eyes shinning with excitement.

I mock sighed, "Well I guess I have to don't I?"

"Well I sure as hell want to see you dance again." He said, that darn smirk was back on his face.

I blushed. What was with him and keeping everything hot and heavy when I wanted it to be light and fun?

He chuckled, "Come on." And led me to the dance floor.

After several fast numbers belted out by the Weird Sister, the melody shifted and a slower song started to play. There had been a considerable distance between Sirius and me; I had even danced once with James and twice with Remus before being paired up with Sirius again. Now as a soft tune filled the air we both moved closer, his arms rested on my lower back, my one arm on his shoulder and the other rested right above his heart. My eyes, thanks to the heels were level with his neck. Jesus, even his neck was attractive. It was strong looking, with a visible vein on the side. And every time he swallowed his Adam's apple would bob slightly, making it seem even stronger for some reason. The first two buttons of his shirt were undone, the hollow at the base of his neck visible along with just a tiny hint of his chest. It was honestly the most attractive thing I had ever seen and I was thankful that he hadn't worn a tie. I raised my hand for his chest and fingered his collar, "I'm so glad you didn't wear a tie."

He chuckled, "I'm glad you agree. Ties are really uncomfortable."

"You have a very nice neck." I blurted out. Embarrassed for the umpteenth time, I looked away.

He chuckled again and dipped his head, his lips brushing against the side of my neck, "As do you."

We swayed softly to the music, which for some reason was a muggle song. It was really weird for some reason to listen to the Weird Sisters cover Mat Kearney's All I need.

_Guess we both know we're in over our heads_

As I looked into his eyes, I couldn't help but be a little scared and nervous. I really didn't want to fall for him. Sure I was intrigued by him. But he was complicated, just like me. I didn't need anymore complications. There was also the issue of his playboy-like mannerisms. I just didn't need to the added troubles but I couldn't stay away from him.

_Maybe it's all going black, but you're all I see_

I didn't care that almost every conversation of ours ended in a fight, I didn't care that Goldberg was likely to corner me tomorrow and tell me how Sirius was hers and some other crap. I didn't care about anything other than the fact that I was with him now and he looked so calm and contented, just like I felt.

_Holding onto you, holding onto me_

_Baby it's all we've got, but it's all I need_

_You're all I need_

As the beat picked up, the drums joined the guitar; I moved closer and rested my head on his chest. It felt so normal, so good to stand so close to him and gently sway with the music. He shifted, slightly, but enough for me to raise my head and look at him inquisitively. He raised a hand to me face, his finger tracing my cheek bone lightly. Instinctively I moved closer and he dipped his head. His lips brushed mine lightly once, twice and thrice. He kept this up, lightly kissing me several times, but that wasn't the kind of kiss I had in mind so I shifted my hand that rested on his shoulder and moved it to the back of his neck and held it there, making sure he couldn't pull back this time. I felt him smirk against my lips, but who cared. This time he didn't move back. His mouth moved against mine, sending shivers down my spine. His hand on my face, stroking my cheek, his other hand drawing idle patterns on my back. I pulled back suddenly, overwhelmed by the feelings he was making me feel. He was breathing slightly heavily, just like me and I couldn't help but smile.

_And if all we've got is what no one can break_

_I know I love you if that's all we can take_

_The tears are coming down; they're mixing with the rain_

_I know I love you, if that's all we can take_

When the song ended, he pulled me away from the dance floor and towards the tables. As he approached a particular table, I saw that its occupants were all looking at us. And I blushed, knowing it was futile to hope that they hadn't seen our display on the dance floor. But no one said anything, thankfully. He pulled out a chair for me and then sat down on my right, Lily on my left with James sitting next to her. Remus, Mandy, Alice and Frank were all already seated.

James was the first to pick up the menu card that lay next to his plate and read out loudly in a clear voice, "Pork chops with mashed potatoes and vegetables." And just like that it appeared on his plate. Magic truly took my breath away.

Following his lead everyone placed their orders. I really wasn't all the hungry and even if I was I doubt I would be able to keep it down, so I simply called for a Chicken Alfredo with a glass of lemon ice tea.

Frank and Alice were the first ones done with dinner and they immediately returned to the dance floor. Mandy and Remus were next. Lily and James left after their dinner, but I still wasn't done. I hadn't even eaten half of my pasta, simply moving it about in my plate. I bet Sirius noticed that. Heaving a sigh, I pushed my plate away, "I'm done." I lifted the napkin from my lap and threw it on the table. He mimicked my motion and then ran a hand through his hair, "Aren't you having fun?" he asked; uncertainty lingering beneath his words.

I was ashamed of myself. He had made such efforts to show me just how he felt about the dance and me and all I had done was hide away from him, be embarrassed and pull away from him abruptly. "I really am. I'm just not hungry."

"That's a first." And he sounded a little bitter.

"How about we get out of here. It's a little suffocating in here. Maybe we could go for a walk on the grounds?" I really wanted to make it up to him.

He relaxed slightly and got up from him seating, offering me his hand. I took it and got up too. He didn't let go of my hand and I tightened my grip. He squeezed back and led me towards the door and outside.

"Wait. I need to go up and get me a coat. It's going to be cold outside."

He shook his head, "It's really stuffy in this jacket. You can have it." He shrugged it off and held it open for me. I slipped my arms into the jacket and pulled it closed. It was huge but I didn't care. The smell of Sirius filled my senses. He smelled of soap and something that reminded me of the air after it was done raining. Grateful for the heat and greedy to get another whiff of the smell, I snuggled deeper into the jacket.

As we entered the grounds, the air cooled dramatically, cooling my heated face and the wind ruffling my bangs. Sirius didn't seem bothered by it, as he rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbow. I shouldn't have even been surprised when I saw his corded, muscular forearms or his graceful long fingers. But I was. And once again I caught myself thinking just how different we were. In almost every way. He was confident and sure of himself. I wasn't. He was such a strong person, and I don't mean physically. Imagine growing up in a family who hates you for your beliefs, for what you are. I would never be able to stand up to my family (let's ignore the fact that they are amazing and will support me in every endeavour) no matter what the cost. But he had, he still did. His fierce loyalty to his house, his friends… I don't think I've ever known anyone like Sirius Black.

He caught me staring at his arms, "Is there anything about you that isn't perfect?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, "Physical perfections don't hide the imperfections on the inside."

Did I know that or what? So many times I came across demons and warlocks whose looks would have put Greeks gods to shame. "So you think you're physically perfect huh?" I teased.

"I don't think so. But others do. Who am I to say no to them?" He shrugged his shoulders.

Smiling, I looked away.

It was a beautiful night. Cool and windy, quiet with the moonlight lighting up the grounds. "It was a full moon last night, wasn't it?" I asked him.

"Yes." He spoke softly.

We kept walking in silence. I made a noise of discomfort. My feet were really starting to hurt. "Wait a minute." I told him, "These shoes are killing me one toe at a time." With that I lifted a foot slightly to slip off the offending footwear. Sirius caught my arm, offering me support. I'll admit, the ground was cold, but I didn't care. My feet were really hurting. Holding the shoes in one hand, I started to walk again. Sirius hand slipped from my arm and caught my hand in his. We walked ahead, holding hands.

"Alex, is that yeh?" Called a booming voice from up ahead.

Smiling, I started to walk faster, "Hagrid!"

He held up a lantern. I saw him standing on the top step the lead up to his hut. And he looked just I remembered him. I saw his eyes land on Sirius and then to our linked hands. Letting go of Sirius' hand and dropping the shoes I ran ahead, climbed up the stairs and launched myself into Hagrid's arms. I was so short that I barely reached Hagrid's stomach. I heard a laugh rumbling from his belly, "Missed yeh too."

I pulled away, "Where were you all this time?"

"Dumbledore sent me on some business." Was all he replied.

He looked away from me to Sirius who had taken his own sweet time in approaching the hut, "Sirius Black." He acknowledged.

"Hagrid." Sirius returned.

I rolled my eyes.

That's when I heard a bark for behind Hagrid and something wet against my leg. I looked down to see the huge black and brown dog looking up at me with soulful brown eyes and a long, pink tongue. Delighted, I dropped down and reached to pet the dog's head and scratch it behind the ears. The dog closed it eyes and leaned into my touch. "You got yourself a dog?" I asked Hagrid.

"Taking care of this one for a friend." He replied. "'Er name is Sheila."

I laughed as I continued to play with the dog, "Sheila? Who names their dog Sheila?" I asked.

"Lunatics." Hagrid mumbled.

"Well she's a beauty, so I guess they are excused." I replied.

"I couldn't wait to bring 'er 'ere and see what yer would think of 'er." Hagrid replied.

I just smiled and patted the dog on last time on her head and stood up. "I'll come visit tomorrow or something and play with her properly then."

"Yeh two want to come in and drink some tea?" Hagrid asked, stealing a look at Sirius who was just standing there not saying a word.

"Some other time Hagrid. I'm barefoot and my legs are freezing." It really was getting really cold.

Hagrid patted my head, quite like I had patted Sheila's and after muttering g'night he dragged the dog back into his hut and closed the door behind him.

I looked at Sirius as I climbed down the steps and started walking back towards the castle, a big grin on my face.

"You like dogs?" He asked me.

"Love them." I replied, "But my grams won't let me keep one. Says they are too messy and since I'm away at school most of the time, she said I can get one when I get a place of my own." I laughed a little. "Grams has always been a neat freak."

I looked at him to see what he was thinking, I saw him looking at me with a smile on my face.

We walked to rest of the way to the common room in comfortable silence. When the Fat Lady asked for the password Sirius told her to hold on for a second. Then he turned to me. "Go with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow." I looked away. I had forgotten that it was Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow. A part of me was really excited that he wanted to go out with me again. Another part was angry with the part that was happy. I remembered what happened last time when we had gone together and a knot formed in my stomach. I knew I had to be sensible about this. So I asked, "Why?

"I think I have made it clear that I like you, Lexie." He said.

And I knew what he was doing so I couldn't help but say what I said next. "I can't. You're a nice guy, Sirius. Really, you are. And today was probably the best date I have ever had. But I can't do this. Not with you. You're funny, smart and good looking. Ridiculously good looking. And you're intriguing. If I get too close I'll get too involved. And if I get too involved either I'll end up getting hurt or hurting you. And I don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone if I can avoid it Sirius. And we all know your history. So no. I can't go to Hogsmeade with you. Ever."

He wasn't looking at me as I was saying this. I let out a loud breath and looked away too. "So you think I'm ridiculously good looking huh?" I heard him say in that annoying arrogant tone of his. I rolled my eyes. "And I am intriguing." Can he get any cockier?

"Yeah. You're also arrogant and annoying."

"But ridiculously good looking trumps arrogant and annoying." He had that damn smirk on his face again.

"Is that all you heard me say? Cause I said other things too." I said impatiently.

"I heard you." He said simply.

"And?" I knew he was enjoying this. But I wanted this over with. Fast.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me towards him. And covered my mouth with his. And had he not been holding me, I would have fallen to the ground.

Sirius Black always gave the impression of being very thorough person. And let me tell you this, he is a very thorough kisser. Every cell on my head and in my toes and in between was tingling. Once again he broke the kiss too soon for my liking. But I guess oxygen trumps everything else. He might have stopped kissing me, but he didn't move back. "Can it not be about the future, something that you and I both know is unpredictable? Can't it just be one step at a time, about tomorrow and you and me and Hogsmeade?" His lips brushed mine at every word he whispered.

"Reality doesn't change just because you chose to close your eyes." I wasn't giving in that easily. He sighed and stood up straight, the height difference is just too much. "No it doesn't. Look, I'm really not the serial dater that you think I am. Yes there have been a lot of girls, but they knew what they were getting into. They were the ones who chose to close their eyes to the reality. I ended it every time I realized the girl wanted something that I wasn't ready to give her. And I know that I want to spend the day in Hogsmeade with you tomorrow. What do you want?" He all but demanded.

I was silent. I was staring at the floor near his shoes. He made an impatient noise and grabbed my chin to make me meet his eyes. And my mouth opened slightly. He looked so… angry. And gorgeous. The fire torches the lit the hallways were reflecting the angry glint in his eye. His mouth was set, his jaw clenched. The light was making his scar shimmer. And I decided that I didn't have to look reality in the eye if I didn't want to. I didn't need to close my eyes either. I decided to wear shades. That way I could look at it with my eyes open and still remain unhurt. So I stood on the tips of my toes, my palms resting flat on his chest and I kissed him. He responded immediately. His hands encircled my waist and he pulled me flush against him. My hands moved from his chest and around his neck, playing with the hair that rested that. He backed me against the wall next to the Fat Lady's portrait, kissing me all the while. This time when he broke the kiss he didn't pull away or stop, he just moved onto other places. He kissed the corner of my mouth, my jaw, the place where my jaw and neck met. Then he moved down my neck to where my neck and shoulders met. His breath was hot on my skin and as he moved from on spot to another, his teeth nipping and his tongue swirling on my skin. His arms around my waist, hands resting on my back. His long fingers were tracing lazy circles through the fabric of my dress. All I could do in response was rest my head against the wall and breathe heavily. It was such a sensory overload. He worked his way across my neck and back up to my lips. We kissed once again. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip and he opened his mouth. I swept my tongue into his mouth. Finally. His mouth was hot and I felt a chip in one of his front teeth. And then his tongue brushed mine. And let me tell you, it felt great. As I pulled away, panting but feeling energized somehow, I couldn't help but smile at him. He grinned back. "So is that a yes?" He asked in that smug tone of his. I smiled again, resting my head in the crook of his neck and whispered, "Hell yes."

His arms tightened around my waist. And I felt him nod, "Good."

Just like that, the adrenalin that was coursing through my veins stopped and the exhaustion after a long, tiring albeit amazing day caught up with me. And I yawned against his neck, my eyes closed. "Whoa there, love. You falling asleep on me?" His voice held a lot of amusement.

I slapped his shoulder, not moving otherwise. "I'm not amusing." I mumbled into his chest, standing on tip toes is painful after a while.

He laughed and I felt his chest rumble, "Quite the contrary, I think you are very amusing."

"Bastard." I replied half heartedly. He laughed again. I pulled away and he stepped back. I pushed off the wall and turned to face the portrait, ready to finally enter the common room. And then buried my face into my hands and groaned, "You have got to be kidding me." The Fat Lady was grinning at me, "Quite a show there dear. You're quite lucky no one walked in on you." I groaned again. I heard Sirius chuckle behind me, as he rested his hands on my shoulders. "We're glad you had some fun." I shrugged his hands off me as I growled, "Speak for yourself." And snapped at the portrait, "Warthog." Without another word, she swung open for us.

"What kind of a password is warthog anyway?" I asked as we entered the common room. "The kind of password James thought of after watching The Lion King with Lily." Sirius said in a tone that made me think that I wasn't the only one who thought that the password was ridiculous. I sat down on the couch in front of the fire, taking off the jacket and handing it back to Sirius, exhaustion forgotten. He sat down next to me, his body so close to mine I could nearly feel it, and my stomach clenched, "Well then I think we should ban him from the Room of Requirements. That way they can't watch any new movies."

Sirius shook his head, "You have no idea. Warthog was his second choice. His first option was Deuce Bigalow- Male Gigolo. But Moony changed his mind." I shuddered, thinking about how every time I would have had to say that to enter the common room. "God bless Remus."

I turned to face him, on hand propped on the back of the couch, "Hey what's with those nick names anyway? Remus is Moony. James is," I squinted trying to remember, "Prongs. You're Padfoot and Peter is Wormtail." Personally I think Wormtail suited him just fine, but the others didn't make much sense.

"Oh. Nothing. Just something we came up with in our first year together." He shrugged, as he faced me as well.

"Really. Cause I don't remember you guys using them anytime before my fourth year." And I really didn't. They just started calling each other than in the middle of my fourth year. To his raised eye brow I replied defensively, "Hey, I'm observant. And how can I forget Lily's I-hate-James-Potter-slash-Prongs rants." Sirius laughed. "Those two came around so fast."

"You mean she came around really fast." I grinned. He chuckled, "Yeah she did. Thank Merlin. I don't think I could have handled another year of James pinning for her."

I rested my head on my hand, as I replied, "I think she stopped hating him a while ago. I guess she was scared. Also she was ashamed of admitting it. She's so stubborn, hates to admit that she's wrong."

"Quite like you, huh?" His question wasn't really a question. I looked at him; his eyes had this softness about them. I would never get tired of looking into them. "We're similar in some ways, yeah. But there are so many differences. It's like were the same object wrapped differently you know. Our presentation is totally differently. So people perceive us differently. You know?" I looked at him question

"Yeah I do." He said simply. I knew he did. He and James were so similar. Same pranksters with effortless intelligence. James loved attention, craved it even. Sirius received it unwittingly. James was easy going, don't get me wrong he could get serious, but he wasn't serious per say. But Sirius, he was just so guarded all the time, around people. Even physically there were similar yet different. Sirius was taller, but James was more muscular. James' eyes were a warm hazel. Sirius' were a stormy grey. They had the same hair colour, but Sirius' hair had such elegance that James' messy mop could only hope to achieve. They complimented each other and together they were an intimidating, gorgeous pair.

We were quiet for a while. And then I yawned again. "Well, I'm going to go to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow at..." I trialed off.

"Breakfast." He finished for me. "We'll decide then. You still have to talk to the girls. If you aren't doing anything together, we can spend the day together." I nodded. If I didn't want to go shopping before, now I would have killed to avoid it.

"Okay then." I nodded again. I smiled, "Night." He smirked at me and reached over, cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. It was slow and yet so hot. He drew back, but didn't pull away. "Night love." His breath fanned on my lips. I blushed, got up and walked to my dorm in a daze.

When I entered my dorm, I saw that Mandy and Alice's curtains were drawn and I sighed in relief. I really didn't want them getting all girly on me now. I needed to think on my own for this. But Lily was awake on her bed and reading. She looked at me, all flushed and dazed, and grinned at me. I grinned back.

I entered the bathroom, shook my hair loose, washed out the make up and took off the dress. Just as I was getting into bed, I remembered how Remus had looked during the dance and I remembered this potion that my Grams made that really relaxed the body and allowed you to sleep without dreaming and made you wake up the next morning all energized and rested. I didn't know what was really wrong with Remus, but I figured he needed a quiet and good night's sleep. So I grabbed the potion from my stash under the bed and told Lily where I was going. I was pretty sure the boys would still be awake. I crossed the common room to enter the boys' dorms and made my way to the seventh year boys' dorms.

I knocked on the door twice and entered. Something I shouldn't have done, but really when have I ever done the right thing. So I entered and really wished I hadn't. But was secretly glad that I did.

While it always seemed like Sirius had a good body because of the way his clothes rested on his body, you would have never guessed without a shirt he had a body of a Greek God. Okay least his back, since he was facing away from me, folding what seemed like his jacket, but I wasn't looking at what he was folding. I was looking at his back and the way his muscles rippled as he moved his arms. Someone was snoring in the background, but who cared with a view like this? The way his black tattoo of something written in what looked like Latin between his shoulder blades contrasted with his fair skin. From my peripheral vision I saw James sitting on a bed opposite Sirius' which is weird cause since he was Head Boy he had his own dorm. When I entered James stopped talking, so I cleared my throat and Sirius turned around. And I nearly had a heart attack. His chest was a very good looking chest and his abs were very well defined. And they way his trousers were resting, ohso low on his lean hips. Oh my god, Alex, BREATHE! This is exactly what I did. Breathe.

I cleared my throat again, "Hey." God, could I sound any more retarded. "I knocked but…" I'msucharetard. I'msucharetard.

James laughed, "That's okay Lex. You needed something?"

I tore my gaze from Sirius' surprise! surprise! amused expression and looked around for Remus. He was lounging on his bed by the window, exhaustion clear on his scarred face. I smiled at him and walked towards him. I held out the vial of the potion in my palm in front of him. Questioningly, he took it.

"It's a potion my grandmother made." Least I was retaining some of my normal brain function. "Made of chamomile among other things. It'll help you relax and get a good night's sleep. And you look like you really need it. It struck me once I'd already reached my dorm or I would have sent it with Sirius."

Remus didn't say anything. He was just looking at me with a weird expression. No one else said anything, but I couldn't look at them. I was officially embarrassed. I folded my arms, "Yeah so, don't worry. Uh…It won't have any side effects or anything. Just you won't dream. If you do drink it. Which you should cause you'll really feel better."

Again, no response.

"Right. So I'll be on my way. Night."

And I concentrated on walking not running out of there. I had my hand on the door knob, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and Remus grabbed my in a huge hug. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted my off the ground and squeezed the hell out of me. For a thin and perpetually tired guy he sure was strong. "Thank you." He whispered fiercely in my ears. "Thank you so much."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're welcome, Rem. But oxygen is really becoming an issue."

Chuckling, he put me down. "Thank you." He said again, his voice so sincere.

And I felt even more embarrassed. I haven't done anything like this for anyone before. Sure I've saved innocents and shit. But I've never done anything like this for a friend, something personal. And I realized just how far I had come. "It's just a potion." I shrugged. He leaned down to my level, "Nevertheless. It means a lot to me." I nodded, "It means a lot to me too." He ruffled my hair and straightened up.

"Right. So I'm going to go now. Night guys." I tried to gather my senses. "And for God's sake someone put a cork on Peter there."

Everyone laughed.

From the corner of my eye I saw him looking at me so I looked at him. He nodded at me. I nodded back and left.


	10. Chapter ten

Chapter 10:

**Disclaimer:** Prince owns Kiss.

I slept really well that night. And I got up with a smile on my face. I didn't snap when Alice's alarm went off at seven in the morning. I just nudged it off her stand with my mind, rolled over and went back to sleep. When I finally got up again at nine, I wished everyone a good morning which prompted Mandy to check my temperature. And I laughed. I actually laughed. And for those of you who think I was like this only because of Sirius and his hot kisses and God like body you're only partly correct. I was just so happy that for once I could show Remus how important he was to me. I could actually help him, like he helped me everyday with his words and his presence. I was actually interacting with people. I was growing up!

I was singing in the shower, praying that the girls wouldn't remember the shopping excursion and that I would spend the day with Sirius. The thought made me laugh. And the fact that I was actually acting like this made me laugh again. I left the bathroom in my towel, and made my way to my clothes drawer. That's when I realized that I needed new underwear and a couple of new shirts wouldn't hurt either. Damnit, last trip I didn't need to buy anything… so why this time?!

"I need new underwear." I told Lily. "A couple of shirts. Mind buying some for me?" I asked. What's the big deal? She knew my size and she knew what I liked and didn't. Also she liked shopping, I didn't. I wanted to spend the day with Sirius and she could do whatever she wants, other than shopping for me.

"Don't be silly. Come along." She replied.

"Oh come on. Just do this for me, please." I pleaded.

"Alex, don't be daft. I'll pick everything in hot pink and fluorescent yellow." She warned.

"But I hate shopping." I even stamped my foot.

Mandy's eyes widened, Alice's jaw dropped and Lily's eyes narrowed. "He asked you to Hogsmeade again, didn't he?" She accused me.

I rolled my eyes, but the effect was ruined on account of my blushing. "Oh Merlin." Alice breathed.

"I love it when you blush, Alex." Stupid Mandy.

"Well so really I don't want to go shopping."

"Because…" Lily prompted.

"Sirius asked me to spend the day with him." I muttered.

"And…" Alice nudged me further.  
"I want to." I whispered.

"I didn't quite catch that." Mandy said, her eyes gleaming.

"Oh for Fuck's sake." I yelled. And pulled out a pair of black woolen slacks and a grey sweater. I entered the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I soon came out, my cheeks flaming. "I am not going to buy your stuff for you." Lily told me. And that was the end of the conversation.

We went down for breakfast. My stomach was clenching, my hands were sweating and my heart was thumping. You know the usual reaction to Sirius. Remus looked well rested and relaxed. He smiled at me as I sat down across him. The breakfast was normal and the conversations flowed easily. Before long, Sirius and I were discussing where to meet and what time to meet as the girls and the guys stood a little distance trying to pretend that they couldn't hear us. "Okay, so Rhythm House at twelve thirty." I nodded. "See you then. Bye." I smiled and turned. But he turned me back and kissed me. It was swift and nice. And I blushed, looking at the groups who were waiting for us. He grinned as he saw where I was looking and the blush on my face. "Bye love." As I joined Lily and the girls, I chose to ignore their looks and determinedly walked towards the carriages.

"I don't like this." I yelled from inside the changing room.

I heard them groan and make other noises to show just how tired of me they were.

"You know what Alex, it shouldn't be you who hates shopping. I hate shopping with you. Must you be so picky about everything?" Alice whined.

I wrenched the door open and stepped out, "This looks really bad." I said motioning to the top I had on.

Mandy snorted and Lily rolled her eyes, "It looks really good." Alice said, "I don't quite see what the problem is."

The shirt had full sleeves, but the neck was really wide. It stretched from one shoulder to another and dipped a little too low for my liking. You could see my collar bones. And a lot of my shoulders too. The t shirt hugged me well too. My stomach and my not too small but not that big boobs… nothing was left to imagination. I rolled my eyes, "For god's sake… It's really.. I don't know.. I feel like everything is up for show. It's just weird."

"I like it." Said this velvety voice that never failed to send shivers down my spine.

Preparing myself, I turned to see the person who had entered the dressing area, something that I feel had been happening too often.

"You're early." I said in what I hope was a bored tone.

"No you aren't. Tell her there is nothing wrong with the t-shirt Sirius." Lily insisted.

"And please, put an end to the madness." Mandy begged.

Sirius grinned and looked me up and down in a way that made me really, really uncomfortable.

He met my eyes and said, "It looks great." In this really sexy voice. "Buy it." He urged me.

How could I say no when he was talking to me in that voice. Not trusting my voice, I just nodded.

"Great. You get out of this one. I'll pick up the same one from the rack and ring up all your purchases, meet me outside." Lily had this thing where she wouldn't buy the piece she tried on; she would always pick up another one from the rack. That girl is a little mental, I tell you.

"Okay." I nodded. The rest of them excluding Sirius followed her out.

Sirius walked up to me and kissed me on the forehead, "Hello love."

I had seen him just last night but still seeing him now in those jeans and that grey sweater which brought out his eyes, my breath was knocked out of me.

Just then Prince's Kiss started to play. "I love that song…

_You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on_

_I just need your body from dusk to down…" _He laughed and kissed me on the forehead again, "Good. Now go get changed. I'm starving." As much as I loved him kissing my forehead, it wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for. So I stood up on the tips of my toes, threaded my fingers through his smooth hair, pulled his head down and kissed him. He responded immediately, and I opened my mouth. His one hand was cupping the back of my head, and the other hand had slipped under the shirt and was tracing designs on my back. His tongue skillfully entered my mouth, rubbing against my own. And I tightened my hands in his hair, moaning into his mouth. We pulled away, breathless and panting.

_You don't have to be rich to be my girl_

_You don't have to be cool to rule my world_

_Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_

_I just need your extra time and you're …kiss_

I rested my cheek on his chest. And his arms were wrapped around me, anchoring me to him as he rested his head on the top of my own. I could hear his heart; it was racing just like mine. We stood like that for a while. Soon my heart calmed down, as did his.

"I need to change." I said, but not moving.

"Okay." He replied, not letting me go either.

I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go.

"I can't unless you let go." I pointed out.

"Then you can just wear this."

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"I can wait."

My stomach grumbled loudly, and he chuckled. "But apparently you can't."

"It's not by choice." I shrugged.

He smirked, shit why did I say that? "So you'd rather be here with me than eat food. And I know you love your food." His smirk grew.

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't say anything so I closed it. I was flustered. "I… I…" Fuck, what do I say?

He grinned and placed his mouth near my ear and whispered, "That's okay, love. Cause I'd rather be here with you in that shirt too." I, being the smart, witty person that I am, just nodded and went to change my clothes.

As I slipped on my pants and pulled them up, I heard someone enter the changing room. And then I heard the most annoying voice in the whole world, "Sirius, baby. What are you doing here?" I gagged, as I buttoned my pants. Baby, why the hell would she call someone like Sirius baby?

"Goldberg." Was all he said curtly. In a tone I've never heard him use before.

Angelica, being the person she was, brushed off the brush off (if that's even possible) and continued, "I haven't seen you around in so long." She whined. Of course everyone knows what she meant. Sirius chose to ignore her. But Angelica really knows the meaning of perseverance. "I haven't seen you around since, like, the second week of school. We couldn't meet because of my detention," I stopped buttoning my white shirt as I heard that, "but detention's been long over and you still haven't dropped by."

Hearing the dangerous lilt in her voice, I started to button my shirt again, fast.

"Rumour has it that you are on a date with Perry." She made Perry sound like a disease. I so hated that damn bitch. When he didn't say anything in my- in our defense, something that hurt me more than I would've liked to admit, she continued, "I knew that was just a rumour. I mean you and that freak…" She laughed, "Did you know that she couldn't even sleep through a single night in first and second year without the lamp next to her bed on. Even then she woke up most nights screaming, drenched in sweat. She won't be any fun for you at nights. I, on the other hand…" The conversation, rather Angelica's monologue, since Sirius refused to say anything, went on for a while. Then one of her groupies came in and asked her to come have a look at some dress or something, I wasn't listening. I was sitting on the floor, really hurt that Sirius hadn't said anything to defend me. Nothing at all.

And then I got angry at myself. I didn't need anybody to defend me; I could take care of myself. So I put on my shoes, opened my door with more force than necessary and left the cubicle. Sirius was leaning against the wall opposite my cubicle, hair falling into his eyes, looking gorgeous as usual. Hating myself for the usual tightening of my abdomen, sweaty palms and racing heart, I walked towards the exit. Telepathically, I searched for Lily. Luckily she was still in the store. Dumping the shirt in a pile where everyone who had tried on dresses but not wanted them; I walked out of the changing room. I was angry at myself. So damn angry. To think that I could trust him. Goddamn bastard. Lily was standing at the cashier's counter, waiting for her change. I walked towards her, trying to calm down unsuccessfully. I stood next to her, anger rising not reducing and tried to talk but I could hear too many thoughts, feel too many emotions, none of which were my own. There was a jar on the counter, full of change that started to shake ominously. So I told her curtly, "I'm leaving. Will explain later."

Staring at the jar warily and then somewhere behind me, no doubt at whom, she nodded. Gathering my coat and scarf from the coat rack I wrenched the main door open and then slammed it shut behind me. Not bothering to put on either of them, ignoring the rain, I walked off with no real place in mind. "Alex!" I heard him shout. I ignored him. "Alex!" He yelled again, his voice closer than before. So I started to run. "Lexie, wait!" And it sounded like he was right behind me. "Leave me alone!" I yelled, still running. The raining was making it very difficult for me to see where I was running, but somehow it didn't matter. All I wanted to do was to run away from him, to think and make sense of what had been happening ever since school started. I could vaguely make out my surroundings and it looked something like the Shrieking Shack. And then I remembered that the Shrieking Shack was haunted. That thought made me stop. That's when I looked around, and realized that I couldn't see anything. Not because I had suddenly gone blind or something but because my surroundings were in complete and utter darkness. My heart missed a beat, I swear, and I started to hyperventilate. In that very moment I forget about my charmed powers and Wiccan heritage or that I was most probably more powerful than whatever haunted this place. All I could say was, "Fucking hell." And I turned around to run out of there. Instead I ran into someone. So I yelled, really loudly, thrashing in the arms of my captor. He pulled me into his arms and held me there tightly. Just as I was going to orb out of there I heard the person say, "Shh. Calm down, Lexie. You're safe."

Hearing his voice made me start fighting again, "Let me go." But he wouldn't. His one hand was stroking my wet hair and his other hand was rubbing my back soothingly. All this while he was shushing me. And I had never felt safer. So I closed my eyes and waited. Willing myself to forget what had made me run in here in the first place, I rested my ear on his chest, his heart was beating as if to reassure me that I was in the arms of a living, breathing person and not some dead monster. I took several deep breaths, trying to stop myself from shaking but it didn't seem to work. After a couple of minutes, I started to calm down. "Let me go now." And I tried to move out of his embrace, but he wouldn't let me go. So I tried harder, "Please you have to let me go. Didn't you hear Goldberg, she wasn't kidding. I'm not a big fan of the dark, please. I gotta go." But he still let me go. But I really didn't care. I was still too scared. Maybe he knew that. Or maybe he was just being a damn bastard. "Let me go, I won't run." I grumbled. So he loosened his grip around me and tentatively released me from his stronghold in a way that made me think that if I showed the slightest sign of fear he'd pull me in his arms again, a thought which made my heart skip another beat. I opened my eyes and took a step back. It was still too dark and I was still too scared.

"Sirius?" I asked.

"What love?" His voice was strong and reassuring.

"Do you have your wand with you?"

"Of course." He said simply.

"Light it, will you?"

Three seconds later I heard him mutter, "Lumos." And then there was light. It wasn't much, but it was something. There was a slight glow in the room and pitter-patter of the rain was comforting. I sighed in relief. I didn't look at him, instead I looked around. Shrieking Shack looked like a normal enough place. Well it would have been normal if it hadn't been for the dusty furniture that had been torn apart. There were scratches on the wall that had been made by something with very big and strong claws. As I ran my fingers through one such scratch I whispered, almost to myself, "Ghosts don't do this."

I jumped slightly when I heard him say, "No they don't."

I walked away from the wall, picked up my coat and scarf that I had dropped when I ran into Sirius and started to leave when he grabbed my arm, "Wait. We need to talk."

I didn't turn around, "Let me go." I said as I tried to grab my arm back, but he had a firm grip. So I violently turned around, something he didn't expect because I felt his grip slack, I grabbed my arm and shoved him as hard as I could, "What the fuck do you want to talk about?" He staggered back a couple of steps before he regained his balance. But he didn't say anything. So I lost it.

"What you have some kind of mental retardation that prevents you from speaking at certain points or something? What the hell do you want from me Sirius? What is this," I pointed at him and then me, "all about? You're driving me crazy! You know that? Crazy! I'm angry. I'm angry and hurt 'cause you didn't say anything to Goldbitch. That would never have happened before. Before I met you, I would never have gotten angry at someone for not standing up for me. I would have walked out that cubicle and told Goldberg to shove it myself. But I didn't. I waited for you to say something, anything. But you didn't say anything!" Just as I yelled anything, I threw my coat and scarf at him which he caught easily. I stamped my foot impatiently, but he didn't seem to be in a hurry to say anything. Again. Heck, he wasn't even looking at me. So I kicked a piece of broken furniture as hard as I could and turned around to leave when he stopped me, with his voice this time. "You think you're the only one confused here? You think this isn't driving me crazy as its driving you?"

I stopped, but I didn't turn around. I heard him walking towards me, until he was right behind me. "Do you know why I didn't stop Angelica from saying anything? It wasn't because I wanted to hear her bitch about you or because I want to get into her pants. It's because I was too busy reminding myself that it's not right to hit a girl." I stiffened. And I know he felt it, "That's right. All I could do was picture me bashing her head against the wall." He paused. I found myself picturing him bashing Angie's perfect little face into a wall and I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. "I've never had such an impulse before. So forgive me for not saying anything to her then. I'd rather you think I'm a prick than a brute." I let out the breath I was holding and whispered, "Why is this so scary?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "But do you know what I do when I'm scared?"

I shook my head, "What?" I asked.

I felt his arms encircle my waist, as he pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head, "I wait for it to pass."

And so we stood together and waited for it to pass.

--

As I think back on that evening, the major emotion that I was feeling (other than the fear of the darkness) was surprise at his revelation that he was scared too. And I remember something Aunt Phoebe told me as a kid, "Its okay to get scared sweetie. It means you have something to lose." So we had something that was worth losing. And right then and there, in that almost dark that was enough for me. I don't know how long we stood there, and it didn't matter that we didn't say anything. That silence was just as comforting. As the sun started to set, he laced his fingers through mine, picked up my coat and scarf, draped his around me and together we walked back to the castle. Lily was pacing in front of the fire with James following her with her eyes. She had this wild look in her eyes and I knew that I had scared her really badly. But then she saw our hands laced together and she calmed down a little. She walked towards us and told Sirius in this really threatening voice, "I know you're James best friend and everything but hurt her and I kill you, you know that right?" I knew Sirius was amused; the quirk of his mouth sold him out, only to me apparently. He just nodded solemnly.

It's been three weeks since that day and Sirius I were… well we were just us. We weren't boyfriend girlfriend. And we most definitely were not friends. Friends didn't make out as much as we did. We had made a lot of progress, but according to Lily it wasn't really progress till we actually acknowledged that we we're dating. But we didn't care so Lily had to keep her mouth shut.

I knew a lot about Sirius now; he was surprisingly chatty when in a good mood. He hated his brother Regulus, a Slytherin who was in my year. He had an older cousin; Andromeda who was married to a muggle called Ted Tonks and had just given birth to a baby girl, Nymphadora. He had run away from home last year and had lived with the Potter's- whom he worshipped. Recently his uncle Alphard, the only muggle loving Black other than Sirius and Andromeda had passed away leaving Sirius a large fortune with many estates.

When I asked him about the tattoo on his back he told me it read 'Toujours Pur' which meant forever pure. It was the motto of the Black family. When I asked him why he had it tattooed on him if he hated everything his family stood for, his eyes had darkened and he had told me in a harsh tone that no matter what they were his family, his uncle and Andromeda had been Blacks as well. I knew what he meant, I mean after everything my mother had done, somewhere deep down I loved her because she was my mother. But I would never love her as a person.

I could see the love and adoration he held for his cousin and I didn't miss the glimmer of pain which he hid soon enough when he spoke of his uncle. And despite what he said about Regulus, there was an air of sadness at the way things had become so bad between the two brothers. To any other person it would have seemed that Sirius said this without any emotion, but I had come to read the subtleties that made Sirius Black who he was. Mysterious he was no doubt, but he wasn't unfeeling. Sirius Black was such a multi faceted person. At first I thought they were just masks, later I learnt that every aspect of his was a layer, each adding to his allure. He was lasagna, in a way. Each layer of pasta covering a different layer of meat, vegetables and cheese. Each layer was just as important, making the dish complicated, but still so delicious.

"What are you thinking about, love?" He asked me in the reassuring voice of his.

"I was thinking about how you remind me of lasagna."

I heard the amusement in his voice as he said, "Do I want to know?"

I turned my head to face him, "Do you?"

He propped himself on his side, resting his head on his hand, "I do."

So I explained it to me. About the layers and the lasagna. And he chuckled, "You have quite the imagination." And then he said in a sober tone, "You really think that?"

"I really do." I sighed. I got up and turned towards him, folding my legs Indian style. "Look I'm not proud to admit this but I really thought you to be a shallow person with an agenda of pranks and fucks." I screwed my face as I said fucks. I saw him open his mouth to say something so I held up my hand to stop him, "And I'm saying now that I was wrong. I just saw what the others saw; saw what I wanted to see. But then I took a deeper look, I gave it a lot of thought and I realized I was wrong."

"What made you change your mind?" He asked me in a neutral voice.

"Your eyes." I blurted out. And then cringed.

"My eyes?" Amusement was evident in his tone.

I rolled my own eyes. "Yeah your eyes. It's just they're so guarded all the time and that breakfast before the Romeo and Juliet lecture, when we were… y'know," I paused.

"Yes. I know." The 'I know' was sarcastic no doubt, but I ignored it, "Please continue."

"Yeah. Your eyes." I stopped again, rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably. I was running out of steam and fast. "You know what, it doesn't really matter. The point is that I did change my mind and now here we are."

He got up and moved closer. His hands rested on either side of me as he leaned over on his knees. His lips were too close to mine and I could smell him, stormy and fresh. "You know what got me interested?" He spoke in a soft, clear tone. I was so dazed at his closeness, the warmth that his body was emitting that I all I could do was shake my head. "That English class. The moment you said Juliet was an idiot I was interested. Most girls think it's romantic that she fell in love with the enemy. But that matter of fact tone you called her an idiot in…" He shook his head as he chuckled. "And then the way you said you'd take matter in your own hands, the way you told Mandy to get over me with me right there, how could I not be interested?"

"So you weren't angry with me?" I willed myself to ask, my lips barely moving.

"I should have been mad, shouldn't I? You did call me 'some guy.'" I looked down, embarrassed for the way I acted that day.

"But I wasn't." He whispered. "Just set on making you realize that I wasn't 'some guy.'"

"Well then you'd accomplished what you set out to do. Cause I know you're not some guy." I looked into his eyes, "Some guy wouldn't have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." As I said that I brought my hand to his face, brushing back the hair that was falling into his eyes. "Some guy wouldn't rebel against his own family; go against everything he was taught. Some guy wouldn't give up his own family because he didn't agree with their notions. Some guy would be so loyal to his friends, so brave. Some guy," I continued, but my voice was really soft, "Some guy wouldn't kiss the way you do."

With that I closed the slight gap between our lips. My hand slid down his face, to his chest, grabbing a fistful of his shirt to pull him closer. He kissed me back, strong and hard. Before I knew it, I was on my back with him hovering above me. His hands were at the hem of my t-shirt, teasing the skin above the waistband of my sweat pants. My own hands slipped underneath his shirt. His skin so soft, so warm. His stomach muscles clenched as I ran my fingers lightly over them. All this while his lips were moving against my own, strong yet gentle. He dipped his fingers under my shirt and skimmed them up my stomach and stopped right at the underwire of my bra. His touch was fleeting, ghostlike. I opened my mouth to take in a deep breath as I arched my back. He took this as the moment to slip his tongue in my mouth. I met his with my own, stroking his tentatively. But he was not having any of it; he wrapped his tongue around my own, urging me to be just as bold. As he pulled away to kiss my jaw, planting butterfly kisses down my neck I realized just how late it was. I curled my fingers in his hair and spoke breathlessly, "It's late Sirius. We should be heading back." He groaned against my neck and I tightened my grip. "Come on. I really need to sleep. I have charms first thing in the morning. God knows I need to be awake for that." That made him chuckle and pull away from my neck meet my eyes. "Yes you do." He kissed me one last time and pulled away to stand up, holding out a hand for me. But I ignored and stood up on my own. I bent down and folded the blanket that I had gotten. "Let's go." He was leaning against the wall next to the door, hands folded across his chest looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"What?" I asked him.

"Go out with me."

I frowned, "Don't I every night?"

He walked towards me, took the blanket from my hand and dropped it to the ground. Holding my hands in his big, calloused ones he said, "Be my girlfriend."

I sucked in a deep breath. My heart started to beat faster as I repeated what he said in my head. Girlfriend. He said be my girlfriend. He wanted me for his girlfriend. Oh my god!

"You're flushed." He said, as his one hand caressed my cheek. Excitement, nervousness and …lust started to wash over me, my heart started to pound as I started to lose control over myself, over my powers. I jerked away from him and stood up, walked towards the parapet, staring at the castle grounds below.

"What's wrong?" He asked confusion and anger mingling with the previously dominant excitement, nervousness and, as uncomfortable I was to acknowledge it, lust.

Leaning over the parapet, holding my head in my hands I groaned. "Nothing, just give me a minute." I felt him move, probably with the intention of walking towards me, something that really wasn't a good idea at this point. "Stay there." I said, a little too harshly. "Just a minute. I just need a minute." I continued in a much softer tone. After a couple of deep breaths I was able to calm myself down and in turn control my empathy. Jesus, I was losing control too often around him. This time I didn't hear him walk towards me and I jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Relax." He said, as his grip tightened and he turned me towards him, placing his other hand on my shoulder as well.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

Not knowing what to say, I just leaned forward and rested my forehead on his chest. His arms lifted and pulled me closer.

"So it's not because you don't like me." He stated but there was a hint of question too.

"Of course not." My voice was muffled.

"Of course not what?"

"I do like you. That's the problem."

"You'd rather be the girlfriend of someone you don't like?" I could hear the amusement in his voice, so I lifted my face to look up at him and growled, "This is not amusing."

"Well it is a little amusing." His mouth was quirking.

"It's not. What's wrong with the way we are?" I whined.

"We're already acting like a couple so why not make it official?" He stated simply.

"Don't you find it a little weird that you want a relationship and I don't?" I asked trying to change the topic. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say cause he dropped his arms and took a step back, his expression guarded. "You don't want a relationship?" He asked evenly.

I closed my eyes as I said, "I don't want a relationship with you."

His voice hardened as he said, "Thank you for clearing that up." And turned around to leave.

He had already taken a couple of steps when I called out, "Sirius wait."

He stopped but he didn't turn around, his body stiff.

"I… I didn't explain what I wanted to say… I mean I wasn't clear." I was trying to speak, but I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say.

"I think you made it perfectly clear that you don't want to be with me." He bit out.

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics and went to stand in front of him. He didn't look at me, just keep staring at the wall behind me. I rolled my eyes again and tried to muffle my laughter, but it got out. That got his attention, "You think this is funny?" he spat.

"Well…" I began but the laughter got the better of me.

I'm sure I heard him say, "Bugger." Before walking around me to leave when I grabbed his hand to make him stop.

I made him turn around and reached up and grabbed the sides of his face to make him look at me. I held his face as I said, "I'm here aren't I? Every night I've been here with you. I even told you I liked you. That's not the problem."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"I'm scared of what will happen when everyone will know." I whispered. "I'm scared of what they will say."

"What does it matter what they say?" He asked me heatedly, as he grabbed my arms and pulled me towards him.

"Look at you and then look at me. I'm a complete mess. And you… you know exactly what you want. I can't even tell the people I care about that I do care. You… you left your family cause of what you believed in. You're everything I'm not, everything I want to be. They," I nodded my head towards the door, "will see it. People like Goldberg, they know and they will tell you that. And you might not believe them then. But later, after hearing it so many times you will see it too. And then what? Don't you see, I don't want to get hurt. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be Sirius, don't you see? So as long as this is not a relationship, they won't care. We can still do this. But giving this a name, it's… it's so," I looked down and whispered, "So damn scary."

His grip on my arm relaxed and his one hand cupped my chin, raising it. And he kissed me. It was short and swift, but passionate. "I don't care about them, okay? This is just you and me. What we have right now is enough for me. It's what I want. Fuck the rest of them. My friends, people who really matter, think this is really good for me. And I think so too. So do you have any real reason, like the fact that you don't like me or something, for us to not be together? Officially." He spoke in a stern, determined voice.

I was still reeling from the kiss, from what he said. I cocked my head to one side, and shook my head slightly to clear it, "No. No I don't."

I straightened and nodded. "Good."

"Okay then." I echoed.

The two of were silent.

"So does this mean…" I asked

"Yes it does." He cut me off.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Well what do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes and said, "Shouldn't we like kiss or something to… you know seal the deal or something?"

His eye brow quirked and a smirk appeared, "I think we should."

I stood with my hands on my hips, "Well then what the hell are you waiting for? Seriously are you that thi… oomph." He cut me off with a toe curling kiss. We pulled back, breathless and flushed. "You talk too much. You know that?" He said, still panting slightly.

"Shut up." I said as I rolled my eyes and kissed him again.


	11. Chapter 11

I've decided to rewrite the story since I'm not happy with the way it's turning out. So please go ahead and read Live and Learn.

Thanks.

:)


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